``...The Body Shop is now really a dysfunctional coffin...'
--------------
For those fellow LBO'ers who have grown pessimistic from the always brightly promised and never delivered neoliberal humanitarian band-aids of incremental progress coming out US dot capital dot gov dot media-experts-speak-through-ass dot org---and for those even more dower doomsday dredges of environmental genetic cyberspace global catastrophe, cheer up!
There is always the infinite horizon of possibilities present in open, armed, violent, and deeply gratifying class war to look foreword to. So steel your imagination now at:
Isn't that a great address, or what?
Consider my future phone conversation with sales and marketing at Sunrise Medical and Invacare.
``Hi, Can you open an encrypted, super-secure, corporate sales and technical service support account on your new server, for me?
Yes. My email address is: cgrimkov at kalashnikov.guns.ru.''
Bright, young, but tentative voice answers, ``Well, let's see. What is your customer account number with us? Ah, yes, Carl I see you are listed here in tech services. Do you have our homepage on the screen now? Okay, click on vendor accounts, now, go to the next page and just click on the FBI consent waiver of all your constitutional rights and automated Carnivore link, and we'll start your company's on-line account with us today.''
``Oh, cool, thanks.''
I love it. I blew off most the afternoon at the end of my vacation looking through the Kalashnikov catalog. Kelley, check it out, they are beautiful. I especially like the experimental eighteen round 9mm automatic pistol---or the truly ugly, Hungarian modified armor piercing grenade launcher.
They even have a couple of little logo placards, ``Go AK, Kalashnikov, Now!'' Something tells me the Russians are not all that hip to the new ways of internet advertising graphics. Somebody should explain to them that such enthusiastic banner ads look a lot like terrorism on sale.
But I do wish I had a nice big grainy poster of V.Krupin, P.Zorin, and M.T.Kalashnikov from the 40s to hang up at the shop with notes on the bottom like: twice honoured as Hero of Socialist Labour, 1958, 1976, decorated with three Orders of Lenin, Order of the Red Banner of Labour, Order of the Great Patriotic War First Class, Order of the Red Star, and many others. [note UK spelling--a former mole in MI5?]
There is also the Kalashnikov 75th Anniversary Medal, looking sufficiently 50s Stalinist to chill the balls off all those DME sales guys who come by to sell the very latest in trendy designer crap for the disabled.
``Here Steve, have a Kalashnikov Anniversary Medal. Sure, show it to your vice president of marketing back in Cleveland. I am sure he would like one too. Yeah, it's a joke. Ha, ha.''
Chuck Grimes