firstly, nathan, we don't define sexual enjoyment in any way we wish.
sexual enjoyment is socially constituted. not deterministically so, but it is certainly not some absolutely opaque desire utterly immune to the social and embedded within the individual psyche in some mysterious way.
as i pointed out, the notion that it is something that is enjoyable is only possible under conditions where it became necessary to use condoms. it has become a fetish because it is "prohibited" in the gay community (sorry joe!). secondly, sullivan's (and others attitudes) here are possible because they are men and do not reflect on the fact that women have always had to be responsible for their sex lives and the consequences of having unprotected sex.
if sullivan were a het guy and ran around saying, "unprotected sex is best. fuck them rubbers. it feels good and i ain't gonna slip no raincoat on. i don't like to have to do it because it's not natural and it's not spontaneous and i really hate having to go through all this rigamarole about birth control yadda yadda, we would not find that his "personal" preference. we'd recognize it for the sexist bullshit that it is.
and yet, sullivan (and other proponents of barebacking as "real" sex) uses these arguments explicitly or implicitly.
>But now the standard is not to respect the whole range of sexual tastes but
>to treat the desire for unprotected pentration as a deviant fetish, a
>"cult." Reversing hierarchies is not liberation; it's its own form of
>hypocrisy.
i'm not treating it as deviant. i am pointing out that it is in fact a fetish (not for everyone, but for many) and is treated as such by gay men. as i said, it's a fetish like any other fetish from toe licking to golden showers to getting turned on by someone's wrist!
i have a problem with it because i think it reinscribes sexism and it sets us back a ways in terms of men taking responsibility for the sexual behavior. i have a problem with it just like i have a problem with _anyone_ who engages in casual unprotected sex. you bet i judge them. herpes? syphillis? etc? nathan? hello?
it's a damn relief to me to know that condom use was easily on the table and that i don't have to worry about it by myself (i can't use the pill) and that it isn't a hassle to convince who i'm with that he needs to use a condom. what sullivan and others who glorify barebacking and casual sex do is destroy any advances we have made here.