> Actually, Reich and Morris are both wrong. As I suggested in a
> previous post, the Dems aren't dead, they are "undead", and are to
> be dealt with accordingly :-)
Zombies specifically:
"ZOMBIES -- Persons brought back from death by voodoo rituals [financing a campaign], so that, as living corpses, they may be programmed to work for the houngans or zobops who have resurrected them. Sometimes a voodoo practitioner [soft money contributor] will actually kill a person, in order to resurrect and enslave him in the form of a mobile corpse [Al Gore].
"Zombies only move around after dark, so that anyone seeing one from a little distance away during the hours of darkness might not know it to be dead [hence Nathan's confusion]. It is easy, however, to distinguish a zombie from a living person [hence the majority of the populace not voting]. It can 'see' in the dark, so that it avoids obstacles which might trip a living person [ballot access restrictions], and it never moves faster than a slow shambling walk. If it should confront a human being, it will not raise its head to look him or her in the eyes [hence the impotence of the Progressive Caucus].
"A zombie is obedient to all human commands and will do the heaviest work without protest or wearying, although it must return to its grave before sunrise. The owner does not have to feed or care for it in any way, but must make sure that it never touches salt. Even a few grains of salt will make a zombie realise it is dead, whereupon it will dig itself back into its grave and ignore any further attempts at resurrection. [Pitch salt!! Vote with your condiments!!]
"It may be assumed that any prosperous farmer, who does not exert himself unduly, is the owner of zombies who do all the work for him during the night [that counts as exploitation, not racism, right?]. A zombie-owner does, however, lead an uneasy existence. There is always the possibility that some rival or enemy may use the appropriate spells to re-programme one of his zombies, so that it will turn upon him during the night [not unlike Marx's likening in the Manifesto of capitalism to the sorcerer who has called forth forces to serve him that ultimately overpower him, eh?].
"There is another class of zombies known as 'errant zombies.' These are the bodies of people who have died in accidents instead of living out their natural lifespan. They arise from their graves and wander around during the night, but do not seem to do any harm. Eventually, when they reach the end of the period for which they would have lived but for the accident, they settle peacefully into their graves [Jerry Brown and Ross Perot?]."
-- p. 235, the Encyclopedia of Things That Never Where (fitting source for a thread about the leftist legacy of the Democratic Party, eh?)
-- Shane
________________________________________________________________ GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO! Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less! Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit: http://dl.www.juno.com/get/tagj.