Dayton, Ohio (Reuters)
In an unprecedented move today, the President, while visiting an elementary school in Troy, Ohio,
explained to reporters that the "War on Terrorism" would include domestic terrorist groups. When
asked for specifics, he responded that the CIA has been closely monitoring groups such as the Aryan
Nation, the Revolutionary AntiPatriarchal League(RAL),and the Amish Seperatist Army(ASA).
<<These groups need to get their houses in order.
They do not reflect the values of America and should be considered as much part of the axis of evil
as N. Korea, Iran and Iraq.>>
When asked if any actions were planned, he said, <<We're putting groups like the ASA on call. I
have asked the National Guard to send 3000 troops to Lancaster County Pennsylvania where
they will patrol the area and smoke out any cells the ASA may have operative in that region. We may
not
get them today or tomorrow. But believe me, we will get them.>>
When asked why the ASA was being singled out, the Commander-In-Chief stated, <<Look at them
[the Amish]. You know that they have ties with the Al-Qaeda network...I mean look at the beards
on those guys and the dresses their women wear.>>
On an unrelated note, White House spokesman, Ari Fleisher confirmed that Vice-President Dick
Cheney was safe in a a bunker in some unspecified location. Fleisher said,"Yes, he will remain there
until those jokes about there being a 'Bush' and a
'Dick' in the White House quiet down".
===== "The tradition of all the dead generations
weighs like a nightmare on the brain of the living"
-Karl Marx
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