polygamy

[joanna bujes]

At 09:18 AM 02/09/2002 -0500, you wrote:
>Thanks for bringing this up. The answer to your questions lies in the false
>assumption that men and women are "hard wired" for mutual sexual bliss. The
>only hard wiring is for procreation. The pleasure part is just the
>honey-trap and it's only as good as it needs to be to achieve the desired
>end. Let me generalize a bit: It's a fact that womens' sexual pleasure is
>far more intense, total, and enduring than mens' is. This huge rush makes a
>woman much more energetic and active in lovemaking than a far more fit and
>athletic man. Women have to restrain themselves in order not to scare their
>partners into flaccidity.

Ah, ha! It wasn't all in my mind -- I mean, I've always had this feeling 
that if I totally let myself go, I'd scare the shit out of my partner...so 
what you're saying definitely resonates.


>Men, OTOH, rarely enjoy a lasting pleasure and
>tension that would make protracted lovemaking worthwhile. Their pleasure is
>brief, so they have a tendency to go for it instead of waiting for their
>partner. So heterosexual lovemaking is really a compromise at best. Stuff
>I've read about Inuits, Bantus, and Trobianders suggests this ain't
>necesarily so for pre-industrial cultures, but the difference isn't purely
>cultural and has to with environmental factors such as endocrine disruptors
>as well (sperm counts falling and all that). Also, widespread use of viagra
>and similar drugs may change the picture.

Fuck the Viagra;  I mean if that was the point, a dildo would do just fine. 
BUT, if we're questioning assumptions, how about questioning the assumption 
of male/female as separate individuals during lovemaking. I mean haven't 
you ever experienced pleasure (during lovemaking) as a kind of energy that 
circulates from one into the other and which is amplified as it goes round 
and around. ( You know...the old "pleasure shared is pleasure doubled (and 
doubled again :) )..." Don't men enjoy that?

Joanna B.