Dangerous Smangerous

[Kelley]

sorry, but the "wonk" research answer is that women go for dangerous men 
because we fall most deeply in love when we feel just slightly 
threatened--when we experience anxiety--when we're never quite sure if 
they're going to stick by us, if they don't always show up, etc. similarly, 
men fall in love best when women keep them guessing. Hence, The Rules 
phenom. blah blah blah.

at a less extreme level, the feeling of closeness and intimacy some of us 
want and associate with falling in love is all about experiencing the 
anxiety of sharing a part of ourselves that we are afraid to share. When we 
do it with a person we're attracted to, we're full of all kinds of anxiety. 
we sit there wondering if you'll still be accepted. When you are, a rush of 
relief most of the time, and a sense of extreme closeness and emotional 
intimacy. If that's followed by a little more self-doubt, enough to cause a 
little tension, pearls over pumps.

i posted an excerpt about this in the past i believe.

kelley