[lbo-talk] Fwd: Bush resume

[joanna bujes]

>X-Sender: dscanlan at pop3.oro.net
>Date:         Wed, 23 Apr 2003 15:36:06 -0700
>Reply-To: PEN-L list <PEN-L at SUS.CSUCHICO.EDU>
>Sender: PEN-L list <PEN-L at SUS.CSUCHICO.EDU>
>Comments:     RFC822 error: <W> Incorrect or incomplete address field 
>found and
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>From: Dan Scanlan <dscanlan at oro.net>
>Subject: Bush resume
>To: PEN-L at SUS.CSUCHICO.EDU
>X-OriginalArrivalTime: 23 Apr 2003 22:36:47.0094 (UTC) 
>FILETIME=[D2D80160:01C309E8]
>
>    Date: Wed, 23 Apr 2003 01:38:25 -0500
>    From: "Kelley Kramer" <kelley at demopower.com>
>Subject: George W. Bush's resume
>
>I recently had an email exchange with a right-winger from my local
>newspaper, and of course the war with Iraq came up pretty quick. But he said
>something in defense of George Bush that really surprised me.
>In defense of the attack on Iraq he said 'between Hussein and Bush, Hussein
>is the bad guy'.
>
>My first response was ... So your guy is better than a third world dictator,
>Wow! what an accomplishment! Does he put that on his resume?
>
>And with that in mind, I started wondering ... what would a George W. Bush
>resume look like exactly?
>
>Listed below is what I came up with,
>
>Best!
>Kelley Kramer
>
>-------------
>
>
>George W. Bush Resume
>
>
>
>Past work experience:
>
>   a.. Ran for congress and lost.
>   b.. Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
>   c.. Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas, company
>went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
>   d.. Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took
>land using tax-payer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago
>Cubs.
>   e.. With fathers help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.
>   Accomplishments- Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and
>made Texas the most polluted state in the Union. Replaced Los Angeles with
>Houston as the most smog ridden city in America. Cut taxes and bankrupted
>the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money. Set record
>for most executions by any Governor in American history.
>   f.. Became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes,
>with the help of my fathers appointments to the Supreme Court.
>
>    Accomplishments as president--
>   a.. Attacked and took over two countries.
>   b.. Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
>   c.. Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.
>   d.. Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12
>month period.
>   e.. Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock
>market.
>   f.. First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
>   g.. First president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.
>   h.. First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation
>by any president in US history.
>   i.. After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided
>over the worst security failure in US history.
>   j.. Set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips than any other
>president in US history.
>   k.. In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their
>job.
>   l.. Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any
>president in US history.
>   m.. Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12 month period.
>   n.. Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than
>any president in US history.
>   o.. Set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any
>president since the advent of television.
>   p.. Signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than
>any president in US history.
>   q.. Presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to
>intervene when corruption was revealed.
>   r.. Presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to
>use the national reserves as past presidents have.
>   s.. Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
>   t.. Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously
>take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record
>for protest against any person in the history of mankind.
>(http://www.hyperreal.org/~dana/marches/)
>   u.. Dissolved more international treaties than any president in US
>history.
>   v.. My presidency is the most secretive and un-accountable of any in US
>history.
>   w.. Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US
>history. (the 'poorest' multi-millionaire, Condoleeza Rice has an Exxon oil
>tanker named after her).
>   x.. First president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union
>simultaneously go bankrupt.
>   y.. Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market
>in any country in the history of the world.
>   z.. First president in US history to order a US attack and military
>occupation of a sovereign nation.
>   aa.. Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history
>of the United States.
>   ab.. Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases,
>more than any president in US history.
>   ac.. First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the
>US from the human rights commission.
>   ad.. First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the
>US from the elections monitoring board.
>   ae.. Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of
>congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.
>   af.. Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
>   ag.. Withdrew from the World Court of Law.
>   ah.. Refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by
>default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
>   ai.. First president in US history to refuse United Nations election
>inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).
>   aj.. All-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign
>donations.
>   ak.. My biggest life-time campaign contributor presided over one of the
>largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former
>CEO of Enron Corporation).
>   al.. Spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US
>history.
>   am.. First president in US history to unilaterally attack a sovereign
>nation against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
>   an.. First president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and
>then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)
>   ao.. First US president to establish a secret shadow government.
>   ap.. Took the biggest world sympathy for the US after 911, and in less
>than a year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the
>biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).
>   aq.. With a policy of 'dis-engagement' created the most hostile
>Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
>   ar.. Fist US president in history to have a majority of the people of
>Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and
>stability.
>   as.. First US president in history to have the people of South Korea more
>threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
>   at.. Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
>government contracts.
>   au.. Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who
>violated US law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for
>government contracts.
>   av.. Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'.
>   aw.. Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders
>of our country at the United States Capital building. After 18 months I have
>no leads and zero suspects.
>   ax.. In the 18 months following the 911 attacks I have successfully
>prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the
>history of the United States.
>   ay.. Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any
>other president in US history.
>   az.. In a little over two years created the most divided country in
>decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the civil war.
>   ba.. Entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less
>than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.
>
>
>Records and References
>   a.. At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving
>record has been erased and is not available)
>   b.. AWOL from National Guard and Deserted the military during a time of
>war.
>   c.. Refuse to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.
>   d.. All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away
>to my fathers library, sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
>   e.. All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or
>bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
>   f.. All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the
>board are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
>   g.. Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding
>public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public
>review.
>   h.. For personal references please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker
>(They can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group for
>war-profiteering.)