This is absolutely true to my experience of east european intellectuals. In their own countries they imagined that if they were only to come to the west, they would get to keep all the goodies... that is, continue to be able to be poets, writers, professors, etc., plus they would be able to get the consumer goodies, plus the recognition/appreciation for the martyrdom, plus they would get to play with their west-european counterparts on equal terms. These hopes did not pan out, especially after the end of the cold war. This is about the time they start talking about the western yahoos (you do this too Woj).
I have personally never felt "patronized." For one thing, I have a talent for languages and speak a lot of languages with a reasonably good accent, which helps. Also, I've played the "european" card at work and with officials, and since Americans seem to feel inferior to europeans, this has worked too. I seldom tell people I'm from Romania because most people don't know where or what that is; usually I say "I grew up in Europe"...and that does the trick.
You're also dead on about the flattening of social hierarchies and how that irked the intellectuals. In Romania, French was the official language of the intelligentsia; I remember all my parents' friends lapsing into french for just the right social note...kind of like the Russian aristos in "War and Peace." I'll never forget, when we emigrated to France, my mother's shock upon discovering that in France..."even the street cleaners speak french."
Oh, and Romania was totalitarian.
Joanna