[lbo-talk] Fox News: Bush won the 2004 elections! :)

Kevin Robert Dean qualiall at adelphia.net
Wed Oct 22 20:56:13 PDT 2003


some humor....

http://www.datelinehollywood.com/showarticle.php?articleID=69

FOX NEWS DECLARES BUSH WINNER OF 2004 ELECTION

HOLLYWOOD - Using exit poll data and statistical projections, Fox News Channel declared today that George W. Bush has won re-election as president of the United States in 2004.

The 24/7 news network was also the first to call the 2000 election for President Bush, more than month before its statistical model accurately predicted the U.S. Supreme Court would invalidate the Florida recount and seal the election.

"We've significantly improved our exit polling and projections since then," said John Ellis, who oversees election results for Fox News and is coincidentally a cousin of President Bush. "Now we can say with 100 percent certainty over a year out that George W. Bush is the winner of the 2004 presidential election."

Fox made the announcement as part of its "Exclusive special live coverage of the 2004 election," which was broadcast on October 19, 2003. By early in the evening, Fox had already projected big wins for Republicans in Congress, with the GOP gaining 27 seats in the House of Representatives and 13 in the Senate. But the presidential race remained a nail biter due to a closer than expected race in California. By 10:15, though, Fox's Britt Hume declared, "It's official, folks, the exit polls from California are conclusive and the American people have overwhelmingly endorsed the agenda of George W. Bush in next year's election. Our congratulations to the President and to the public for once again proving that our democracy is the strongest in the world."

The election results were immediately followed by a panel of commentators moderated by Tony Snow including Sean Hannity, Mort Kondracke, and Alan Colmes.

"Why haven't we seen President Bush's acceptance speech yet, do you think?" Snow asked.

"Sadly, I think George Bush is too honorable to publicly declare victory until the Democratic candidates call him to officially concede," Kondracke responded.

"Once again, Democrats are putting partisanship above the good of the country," added Hannity. "This is just like what happened in Florida. When they don't get the result they like, they act like sore losers."

"Hold on a minute," said Colmes, the pre-eminent liberal voice on Fox. "Democrats aren't nearly as dishonorable as you guys are saying. I'm sure they'll admit this obvious defeat soon and then you right wingers will have eggs on your faces."

"Actually, Alan," Snow then interjected. "My sources are telling me all nine democratic presidential candidates plan to continue campaigning tomorrow. Democrats just refuse to accept the will of the people."

Asked how they felt about being beaten to the punch in election news once again by Fox news, CNN President Jim Walton demonstrated why his network is trailing in the ratings by saying, "we don't think it's appropriate to call an election until after the polls have closed."

MSNBC President Erik Sorenson, however, revealed plans to one-up Fox, saying his network would shortly report that Dick Cheney had prevailed in the 2008 election.



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