DAY IN THE LIFE OF INMATE SAM
SAM Waksal is working out, making friends and working as a janitor at the Schuylkill federal prison in Minersville, Pa. - and he's completely miserable, according to a fellow inmate.
"All in all, his days here are very long and sad. The general consensus seems to be that he won't last long here," Robert C. Lawrence, 39, wrote to PAGE SIX last week, the day before he was released.
"There seems to be a deal in the works that he will be cut loose once he turns over the 'correct' information regarding his dear friend Martha Stewart. If not, he will definitely end up being someone's meal ticket or jail bitch," Lawrence said in a neatly typed two-page letter.
Lawrence, convicted in Maryland of credit card fraud, served a 33-month sentence. Waksal is doing seven years for insider trading of shares in his ImClone cancer drug company.
"I thought I would write you this letter just to give you and your concerned readers a bit of inside information on the daily routine of our institution's new celebrity inmate, Mr. Sam Waksal," Lawrence begins.
"He starts out his day by engaging in a rigorous workout planned by his personal trainer/bodyguard . . . a steroid-head from New Jersey who fancies himself as a Steven Seagal/Sylvester Stallone/Soprano wannabe, complete with ponytail and unbelievable mob stories.
"This is usually followed by a quick shower, and then he makes his way back to the common area where he can be found watching the morning news with two gay guys. One of them happens to be an obnoxious fashion designer from New York who struts around like he is a supermodel or something.
"Some inmates say they have seen the three of them watching old Martha Stewart [TV] episodes . . . If so, that is just wrong.
"But now comes the best part of Mr. Waksal's day, his job. He works as a housing orderly . . . a janitor. He mops, sweeps and waxes the floors, and the ultimate degradation . . . he cleans the toilets. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
"Finally . . . he spends his time putzing around . . . 'making nice' if you know what I mean. He can be seen chatting to any number of brutal morons on one subject or another that always seems to leave the listener with a glazed look on his face."