Violent, Weird, Cretinous -- And Proud As GOP Descends on New York, Delegates, Pols, Revel In Backward Image
New York (AP, Aug. 27)-- Randy Tuckman hates liberals. With a passion. "To me they ain't no better than a rabid coon," said Tuckman, as he arrived in New York as part of Mississippi's Republican delegation.
"You can tree 'em or catch 'em with traps, but they's best just shot dead. Twelve gauge'll do the job."
Tuckman is not alone. Many GOP delegates despise not only liberals, whom they believe make up the core of the Democratic party, but also New York City, which many view as a den of sin, corruption, and evil.
"I'm not sure why the party decided to come here," said Florence Haygood, a delegate from Arizona. "I mean, I understand the president wants to connect to 9/11 and all that. But let's be honest -- God chose New York as the main target that day for obvious reasons. Abortionists and homosexuals dance down the streets here. They've had it coming for a long time."
Milling about the pre-convention dinner parties and cocktail receptions, one gets the sense that these views are shared by the rank the file.
Take Douglas Stephorn. The 42-year-old county sheriff from Lexington, Kentucky feels that the Patriot Act should extend to those who identify with liberal causes.
"Move On? Traitors. ACLU? Pro-terrorist. All them abortion outfits? Pierced lesbian cult killers. Queers? Disease-carrying vermin who should be drowned in gasoline."
When asked if these delegates' opinions represented the mainstream of the GOP, Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum replied, "We are an inclusive party. We welcome anyone who understands the dire threat that homosexuals, Arabs, abortionists, liberals, feminists, homosexual liberal Arabs, Arab feminist abortionists, feminist liberals who marry Arabs and live in homosexual neighborhoods, arborted liberals who somehow survive and train to be homosexuals in Arab countries, invisible Arabs who can be seen only by feminists when they are liberally performing abortions, pose to this great country."
Given their feelings, it may seem strange that so many conservatives would feel comfortable in a place like New York. But this is no ordinary trip to the Big Apple.
"Come Thursday, when President Bush accepts the nomination, I believe with all my heart that God will shine His Holy Light down on His Beloved Messenger," said Florence Haygood. "And God will give this sinful, lustful, wicked city a chance to repent by voting for George W. Bush. If they don't, and Kerry wins New York, well, prepare for a lot of mass graves."
"Hey, we're bringing the truth to Sodom City," said Randy Tuckman. "They're the one's who should be uncomfortable. Maybe if all them queers took a minute's break from buggering each other on the dance floor and saw what we have to offer, they might turn around, and not in the sinful way."
Sen. Santorum summed up convention week this way. "You are going to see American purity and purpose marching shoulder to shoulder. One party. One people. One nation. And if the aborting homosexuals with liberal, feminist Arab names don't like it, there's the door."