August 31, 2178
By WintermutE, Associated Press Distributed Intelligence Entity
WASHINGTON - US government officials took a much needed break from answering (or avoiding) audio calls, emails and transrational psionic intrusions from fed up international debt collectors to hold a press conference declaring the official end of the War on Terror.
President Bush (Sequence 9.25), surrounded by members of his cabinet, made the announcement in the White House's Microsoft Memorial Room as soothing classical chill-out music by pre-Shiite Empire era composer Moby played in the background.
"I'm here to proudly announce to the American people and also to those of you in GoAsiaGo, Eurozone2, The African Co-Dominion, the lovely Southlands and the gossamer geosynchronous archipelago who're all so patiently awaiting loan repayment that the US has, as my genetic predecessor promised long ago, finally ended our long battle against a tactic that anyone, anytime can employ" the President said.
The announcement was greeted with skepticism in some quarters. Flatline 376549_r, the stored consciousness of a late 20th/early to mid 21st century Democratic heavy hitter held a counter press conference on a sub-stream of the White House's meta as the President spoke offering a running commentary.
"We're no safer now than we were when I still had a body" the Flatline said. "In fact, we're less safe. If a Dem were in office we'd win this war the right way by including our allies, er, a, I mean patient, patient creditors in the process."
The President's declaration of victory received a severe perceptual blow when, a few hours after the press conference, a T-hound leaped the walls of a Los Angeles gated community, ran into a Starbucks and detonated a nightmare bomb.
At least 20 patrons and staff were cast into an unending realization of the emptiness of their lives.
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