Dwayne writes:
> Which leads me to conclude that sinister, dare I
say 'patterned' forces are at work.
My mother (who enouraged her children in their individual pursuits) would always say about my sister (an electrical engineer) that she had a man's job. We still laugh over it.
Deborah:
> I don't see why gay couples would be any less immune
to the pitfalls of marriage or divorce rates as it has
evolved in the US.
The more queers seek to assimilate and win approval by aping the het lifestyle, the less immune we become. Rapidly fading are the days when we constructed relationships in critical opposition to they way hets lived. I bet as time passes, queer relationships will follow the het pattern ever more closely.
Interestingly, TJ (22 years younger than myself) sees our relationship in het terms far more than I do. And during the dating wasteland I traversed before I met him, I found that younger men (below 35) were a) more interested in relationships and b) frequently saw them in hetero terms.
The older men (35+) I dated were more likely to see relationships in non-heterosexual terms and less interested in relationships (though nowadays all gay men say they are interested in them. Only a brave few go against this pat answer since saying so is interpreted as "I am a slut.").
For the record: TJ cooks (amazingly), cleans and buys underwear and socks (which he sees as the quintessential wifely duty). I do dishes/laundry and take out the garbage. We do grocery/household shopping together. Interestingly, he feels less "wifely" in this relationship than in his previous one and more butch living in New York than when he was in South Carolina.
Brian Dauth Queer Buddhist Resister