--- Doug Henwood <dhenwood at panix.com> wrote:
Why do you
> find Russert so
> grating?
Well, it's not because I find fault with his interviewing abilities or because he is so "mainstream". At first I couldn't decide why he grates on me, but after some reflection I have narrowed it down to the following reasons:
1) He acts like he has a chip on his shoulder. Of course, it is understandable that he would act this way. After all, Chris Matthews ripped off his game. The former gets a nightly gig while Russert only gets to be on once-a-week, on Sunday, at a time when most Americans are sleeping off their hangovers. Also Matthews gets to check out Christina Mesemuci while Russert gets stuck with Andrea Mitchell. Go figure!
2) Recalls Tennessee Tuxedo's sidekick "Chumsley the Walrus". Dont get me wrong, I actually liked Chumsley as a child, but I have issues with epigones.
3) Makes me feel uncomfortable because he always sits like he has hemorhoids and/or a burr up his ass. Also those penetrating eyes of his frighten...looks like "Night of the Living Dead Does Starbucks".
> Could you imagine
> Larry King doing the interview?
Actually I can. I imagine that Karl Rove would dress Bush in suspenders so that he would "mirror" King.
I am straining, however, to imagine an interview with Geraldo Rivera:
Geraldo Rivera: Mr. President, I used to be a liberal, do you remember September 12th, oh excuse me er,I misread my notes, September 11th.
Bush: I hate to sound like a broken record, but I lead the country. Did you see me on that aircraft carrier? A leader is someone who leads. I lead and so I am a leader. A leader is someone who leads and doesnt pay attention to polls. Non-leaders pay attention to polls and get blow jobs from interns who wear berets in the Oval Office, which is where we are in this historical moment in this great country of ours. French people wear berets.
Geraldo Rivera: Go get 'em!!!! By the way, did I mention that I USED to be a liberal.
Bush: I shook Teddy Kennedy's hand. I am uniting people. Seventy percent of the people in exit polls said they were angry and that I was the most divisive President. I dont pay attention to polls, I lead...I am a leader. It's all politics.
Geraldo: Go get em! We've got a caller on line one. Go ahead Stephen from Minneapolis.
Caller: Mr. President, has anyone ever told you that you are the King of tautology? And that...
Bush [interrupting]: Teachers teach. My wife Laura taught. I used to go to school, even though I got Cs and was a third string pitcher on Yales crummy baseball team. I am the education President. I cut taxes to put more money in the pockets of school teachers and stimulate the economy. I am going to cut more taxes and that will put more money in the pockets of school teachers so that they can better educate children, who are the future of this country.
Geraldo: Go get 'em!!! Now about these allegations that you went AWOL while in the Texas National Guard? Now dont think I am asking you this because I USED to be a liberal.
Bush: I got an honorable discharge. I dont know what happened to the records that DISAPPEARED which if they existed would prove that I did not go AWOL. But since they dont exist that also proves that I did not go AWOL.
Geraldo: Is it true that you chew Copenhagen instead of "Big Chief"? Now I dont want you to think I am asking this because I used to be a liberal and used to smoke Gitanes like some gallic fag.
Bush:.....
===== <<You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do it on the Discovery Channel>>
Bloodhound Gang, "The Bad Touch"
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