Spokespeople for the Glorious Revolutionary Federation of Fortune 500 Killers today held a press conference to condemn the upcoming Democratic National Convention in Boston next week. "As more American troops and Iraqi civilians die overseas, the likes of John Kerry, John Edwards, Bill and Hillary Clinton, and Dick Gephardt, among others, will be celebrating with their vapid celebrity donors in an obscene overblown televised charade. The Federation condemns the event and cannot wait until the Democratic Party goes the way of the Whigs," said one spokesperson. The Federation called the press conference in order to counter the overblown and hysterical shrieks from bourgeois organizations and magazines like MoveOn and the Nation, which have been promoting Democratic Presidential Candidate John Kerry's campaign. Holding up a cardboard display that fell down embarrassingly in the middle of the presentation, one Fortune 500 Killer reviewed the Democrats' despicable recent record:
* Failure to stop No Child Left Behind * Overwhelming vote for the Patriot Act * Overwhelming vote for carte blanche military authority for Bush * Overwhelming vote for Iraq resolution * Tepid "states' rights" position on gay marriage
The Federation also wishes to turn the clock back and look at the Clinton years, now whitewashed and held up with nostalgia by myopic Democratic apologists.
* Signed welfare reform, kicking millions off welfare rolls, even though most recepients cannot support themselves on welfare check alone and must take under-the-table job. * Supported imperial NATO crusade in Kosovo (opposed by many Republicans) that scattered landmines and killed hundreds of civilians * Supported 1996 Anti-Terrorism and Effective Death Penalty Act, direct antecedent to Patriot Act, which increased number of capital crimes punishable by death by 100. * Did NOTHING to stop police terrorism at public protests in Seattle and Democratic and Republican conventions of 2000.
The Federation is holding a conference this weekend entitled: "Nader or Benevolent Imperialist, Pro-War, "Stay the Course" Capitalist Bat Shit John Kerry: The Election of 2004" to formulate its 2004 Glorious Revolutionary Electoral Stance. All are invited to submit thoughts on a Potential Stance to ceodeath at ceodeath.org Its Boston Wing, meanwhile, will dispatch Glorious Revolutionary Ninjas and Foot Soldiers who will provide security and medic help for protestors at this week's orgy of corruption.
end communique.
The Glorious Revolutionary Federation of Fortune 500 Killers is a radical insurgent student group based (embarrassingly) at Columbia University, factory for the power elite and future exploitative professional-political-imperialist class. For more information, visit our website at www.ceodeath.org or e-mail ceodeath at ceodeath.org
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