as someone who considers himself an anarchist, and who also regularly babysits relatives ranging in age from 5 months to 9 years, i have to say quite simply that sometimes, maybe even most of the time, you need to tell kids what to do and not to do. if they were physiologically and mentally capable of understanding things and living on their own then they would get up, walk away from their parents and fend for themselves after a couple days like babies of other species do. somewhere on that "manufacturing consesnt" dvd chomsky makes a comment along the lines of "some authoritarian relationships are justified, one of them being parent-child." of course, it can go too far, but i largely agree with chomsky.