[lbo-talk] Wal-Mart Repubs

[Jon Johanning]

Thanks to this reporter's intrepid investigations, it can now be 
revealed that one key part of Bush's plan for his second administration 
is to ensure that, by the end of the term, the only retail stores in 
the country will be Wal-Marts (for persons with incomes under $100,000) 
and Neiman Marcuses (for those with incomes over that amount). No one 
will be able to buy so much as a toothbrush or a quart of milk in any 
other stores, because all others will have been driven out of business. 
"It's a matter of course," one Bush spokesperson told this reporter, 
"because no other companies are politically reliable enough. Look at 
how many of them are granting benefits to same-sex partners of their 
employees, and allowing them to unionize right under their noses. It's 
a sickening moral rot that must be stopped. And of course Wal-Mart has 
always given us excellent cooperation with pulling pornographic and 
leftist books, CDs, and DVDs off their shelves."

Along with this policy, all whites currently living in large cities 
(where Bush was not supported in the late election) will be strongly 
encouraged to move to the suburbs, where there are plenty of Wal-Marts 
to serve them, and the remaining residents of those cities (which of 
course will now have much less than the number of votes they would need 
to continue their futile resistance to the Brave New U.S.A. now being 
brought to birth) will have to try to get to the nearest suburban 
Wal-Mart to purchase food, clothing, and whatever else they can afford 
on their own (there will, of course, no longer be any public 
transportation by then).

Speaking off the record, a Bush policy adviser who participated in 
formulating this policy confirmed that the result would be a de facto 
apartheid regime, but assured this reporter that a suitable euphemism 
will be coined in the near future, long before significant resistance 
builds up.

Jon Johanning // jjohanning at igc.org
__________________________________
A sympathetic Scot summed it all up very neatly in the remark, 'You 
should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest 
and folk-dancing.' -- Sir Arnold Bax