[lbo-talk] Homos > Gangs > End of Civilization

snit snat snitilicious at tampabay.rr.com
Sun Oct 3 22:41:18 PDT 2004


At 03:09 PM 10/3/2004, joanna bujes wrote:
>Is "limpdick" another way of saying Florida? Just curious --- I'm sure its
>definition must have been obvious in the beginning, but now I'm the
>clueless one.
>
>Thanks,
>
>Joanna

Yepper. You do a lot of looking a hurricane forecast maps and you can't miss it. :) Although, my buddy Joe (budge) noted not too long ago that, while this editorial page cartoon had it standing at attention, it remained a balless wonder! www.rakfoundry.com/Ivan.html

Colorado state predicts three more hurricanes will form, with only a comparatively small chance that they'll make landfall.

No one, however, has removed their shutters/plywood.

People have asked what it was like. I put up my Horriblecane Diaries, which weren't really intended to be such. I was just a wee bit anxious and, fortunately, had an outlet at another list where there are other FL residents. www.rakfoundry.com/Horibblecane_Diaries.html

Also, some humor:

WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT HURRICANES IN FLORIDA IN 2004

1. You can never have too much duct tape.

2. You can flick the switch endlessly but, without electricity, the lights don't work.

3. It actually gets --or at least feels--hotter and stuffier at 2 a.m. than it is at 2 p.m.

4. 5 teenagers in the house rates a 2 on the Safir-Simpson scale but doesn't qualify for FEMA relief.

5. He who has the biggest generator has the most new friends.

6. You can make coffee with a Smokey Joe, just make sure you don't try it with a plastic handled percolator designed for an electric stove.

7. You will go through a lot of charcoal.

8. Making a charcoal pyramid at 6 a.m. to make coffee really sucks.

9. The "battery operated" part on the packaging of a radio or book reading light is often just for show.

10. 1.5 volt batteries come in C _and_ D sizes.

11. Batteries in your car flashlight will rust. Hell, the batteries stored in the hurricane survival kit from last year will rust. It's $)@&*%^( Florida, you idiot!

12. Women can survive without doing their hair and men can live without the television on Sunday. You just wish they weren't around you.

13. A convenience store will either have ice OR beer, never both.

14. There are a lot of trees around here.

15. It's great to live in a housing development where the power grid is underground -- except when there's flooding.

16. After three days of canned food you'll feel like a canned ham. After five days, you will sprout a purty label that says Vlasic.

17. Anxiety does not burn off the calories contained in a 1 lb bag of M&Ms you've all nervously crammed in your faces as you watch Guv Jeb and wonder if _he_ would read _My Pet Goat_ for seven minutes.

18. Aluminim siding reminds everyone of the old homestead up north, sure, but it does nothing to protect your house and it makes excellent torpedos when the wind gusts.

19. Crickets can increase their volume to overcome the sound of 14 generators.

20. People will get into a line that has formed without having any idea what the line is for.

21. Almost any vehicle will float. You can't steer the beeyotch, but it floats real good.

22. Hurricanes do keep the mailman from his appointed rounds.

23. Nothing stops telemarketers.

24. The worst Chinese place in town--the one that uses frozen peas and carrots in General Tso's--will deliver.

25. Twenty-seven of your neighbors are fed from a different transformer and they will be quick to point that out!

26. It is perfectly normal to have fantasies about Weather Channel Meteorologists.

27. If I had a store that sold only ice, chain saws, gas, beer, and generators *sigh* I'd be rich.

28. The price of a bag of ice doubles after a hurricane.

29. Progress Energy Math:

30 days in a month

- 6 days without power

_____________________

30% higher electric bill

30. Drywall is a compound word, take away the "dry" part and it's worthless.

"one of the lessons of 1964 that conservatives learned was that it was more important for voters to feel like they were informed than to actually be informed. conservatives now have several places where they can learn this lesson several times a year."

-- ac, the Politics list



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