--John Fowles, The Magus
although I could never identify with that quote, it strikes me as pertinent to your commeents. Though your comments don't strike me as pertinent to the lives of the people who I was talking about.
At 10:41 AM 4/20/2005, Wojtek Sokolowski wrote:
>This gets us the observation that the despair of the people whom you so
>eloquently describe, and for that matter, most of us on this list, is of an
>aesthetic nature. It comes from the fundamental trait in the human nature
>that once we got a taste of something good, we want it and we long for it.
Hmmm. This doesn't describe 'other son' or my partner or the ex-beau (Marines) or my cousins or the handful of kids from the old 'hood who joined the service. I don't see any despair going on. They want what you have: a decent job, an affordable roof over their heads, health and retirement benefits, an opportunity to get out of a small town, the chance to learn, and a sense of meaning and purpose in their life.
Those aren't unreasonable things to want and a $10/hr job at Goodyear or a minimum wage job at a junkyard does not afford those things. R's friend, Shane, works in a junkyard. He has a four year-old from his marriage, who he raises by himself. He can only survive because he lives in a trailer on his dad's property. It's a modest property and they managed to pay it off 10 yrs. ago --when they both worked at a Tupperware plant and had benefits. These people do not aspire to have designer clothes or status jobs. All Mike wants to do is keep his repair shop running and his wife would like to have hands that don't ache from the factory work so she can do something she enjoys--upholstery work. These folk can't imagine wanting these things because it is not their lot in life. When they see fancy schmancy homes on the TeeVee their response is, "Yeahsureright. Who can possibly afford that?" This is because no one in their circle afford that." To them, the idea that plenty of people live in those fancy schmancy homes is not real.
They are perfectly happy with what they are doing. Mike and his wife are pissed, however, that even their modest lifestyles are increasingly difficult to support and are probably unattainable for their sons, both of whom live on a trailer on the family property.
Shopping at Costco, no problem. Driving an old beat up Chevy Luv truck is just fine with them. They have no desire for a fancy ass car and, in fact, probably wouldn't drive one if they could. They take pride in working on their own cars and that's not possible with fancy ass computer controlled vehicles.
I would say the same thing holds for anyone else I know who's joined the military. There are kids in the old 'hood who aspire to lifestyles of the rich and famous. They don't go into the military, believe me. They deal drugs.
Joining the service is not getting something for free. You sign your life away for at leat three years and you work. It's no more "free" than my graduate school TAship and RAship was. I worked for those things, and so do the people who join the service. Some people had RAships that meant they dusted the computers in the computer labs for 4 hr shifts. Hard work? No, but they had to spend some of their life in the computer lab. It's work, any way you slice it.
It's obviously better than the route I took, which meant I lived on 3-4 hours sleep 7 days a week to get through graduate school. And, as an undergraduate my tuition was pretty much paid for because, when I was married, our family of three was poor enough to qualify. I guess I took the easy way out and shouldn't have lived off government largesse. Instead, I should have worked full-time and gone to school part-time, right? Make room from someone truly poor, right?
Horseshit.
And I don't need to get into the myriad of other sacrifices you make to join the service, such as not seeing your family, working long shifts, being on call 24/7, spending holidays in the bowels of a sub, leaving friends and family behind, loneliness, ridiculous b.s. military codes, etc. etc.
kelley