I don't know what SUNY's policy is exactly, but a private NY university's policy was no dating students. I'm gonna guess that, since SUNY's handbook for faculty hiring was 4.5 inches thick, full of rules and regs about how to avoid violating anti-discrim laws, then they had a very clear law that likely said "no dating students." Could be wrong, but if I'm not, I have no sympathy for the guy.
One of my students wanted to date me, too. But, there are rules (and they are good rules) and I respected them enough to wait til he was no longer a student--not just no longer in my class, but graduated from the university. It's the least any intelligent human being can do, rules or no rules. If, by 81, you have not figured out that you have the upper hand in the classroom and that responding to their come ons is unprofessional, well..... this guy's not too bright and I'm not going to defend him. As a SUNY professor, you get training in the policy and you know the rules. There's no excuse. I don't care whether he pecked her on the nose or went down on her until he got lockjaw. I don't care whether they had missionary sex or she rode him hard and put him away wet. I don't care if SUNY says it's ok to fuck your student. He's an idiot.
The rest is a criminal case and the facts need to come out before you can make a judgment. In this case, he admits he fucked her. End of story in my book. He's an idiot, even if there aren't any rules. He's 81 and unaware of he said/she said cases like this? He's 81 and unable to see that, gee, even if consensual, it just might not work out particularly well. Shit happens. When you're 81 and married, probably to someone who isn't pleased about your affair, it's even more idiotic to decide to fuck your student.
Kelley
Kelley