>I could live with that; I even kind of enjoy it sometimes.
>
>Doug
me too! unfortunately, i did the tie thang in jr. high. *rolls eyes* my dad was a hustler--earned extra money at the pool hall and poker tables that way. the guy who owned the men's shop in town was always beholden to my dad, so he had some nice clothes -- and those big old ugly 70s ties -- and matching socks! Dapper Dad!
I just knotted up the kid in a windsor and shipped him off for an interview with a big law firm. His latest gf's uncle is a partner and she works there -- though she doesn't like. *sigh* She wants to finish beauty school. Wish us luck!
life so sucks, I tell ya. Sonshine's old gf, who's like a daughter to me, dropped out and moved to Georgia to live with her dad. I am trying to make sure she finishes up high school. We've always talked about how important that is since her mother, M, dropped out when she got pregnant at 16.
Sonshine's ex-gf had been planning to go into nursing. Alas, her mother upended her and her four siblings' lives last year (moving out of a 3 b.r. apt with a very competitive rent structure, partly because she was pissed at the complex mgmt and partly because she was (??) trying to escape the furniture rental company demands for payment. One weekend, she just got her friends together, packed up, and moved out. All on a whim. I could kick M's ass sometimes.
So, they've been living with one friend after another. Unfortunately, most of these people are messed up in some way -- drinking, arguing, partying. Her mother can't get into a groove where she's saving money for first/last/deposit or even for a down payment on a mortgage. She's sinking into a pit of partying and pathological relationships with a circle of people, spending money like water. It's so bad that she's making the kids buy her cigarettes. I could kick M's ass sometimes.
Jenny talked about how women could be sharing living expenses with other women. I gotta say that, if my friend M's experience is like a lot of other women I know, living with another woman (and her kids and BFs and whoever else goes along with the clan) is sometimes more difficult (and pathological) than living with a man. Living with another woman (and her kids, etc.) entails a lot of negotiation over who does what, what belongs to whom, who's responsible for which chores/when/why, how to discipline kids, etc. etc. is much more problematic in some ways. It's simply because there's already a built-in set of gender roles that define a couples' obligations to one another and guide how they negotiate living together. Yes, these tend not to benefit women--on the surface. But, I think a lot of women accept the tradeoff. Coupling as friends carries a lot of uncertainty in a lot of women's minds. The slightest disagreements aren't so easily patched up because there isn't a larger goal beyond partnering to share expenses.
My son's new gf is a super young woman -- but, again, life so sucks lately. She has an abusive father and ends up at our house a lot. I love it, of course, cause I love my kids. But man, the things this guy does. Comes home from work and makes everyone wait on him hand and foot. The little ones have to take his shoes off! Mind you, we're not talking some ARchie Bunker type, as the stereotype goes.
Her mother, of course, won't leave because of the kids and the security.
Life's a bitch.
K
"We live under the Confederacy. We're a podunk bunch of swaggering pious hicks."
--Bruce Sterling