STUDENTS: Paragraph two Axiom seven
PANGLOSS: Once one dismisses The rest of all possible worlds One finds that this is The best of all possible worlds!
STUDENTS: Once one dismisses The rest of all possible worlds One finds that this is The best of all possible worlds!
PANGLOSS: Pray classify Pigeons and camels
MAXIMILLIAN: Pigeons can fly!
PAQUETTE: Camels are mammals!
PANGLOSS: There is a reason For everything under the sun!
CANDIDE: There is a reason For everything under the sun!
MAXIMILLIAN: Objection! What about snakes?
PANGLOSS: Snakes! 'Twas snakes that tempted mother Eve Because of snakes we now believe That though depraved We can be saved
From hellfire and damnation (Because of snake's temptation!)
If snakes had not seduced our lot And primed us for salvation Jehova could not pardon all The sins that we call cardinal Involving bed and bottle!
ALL Now onto Aristotle!
PANGLOSS Mankind is one All men are brothers!
STUDENTS: As you'd have done Do unto others!
PANGLOSS It's understood in This best of all possible worlds--
MAXIMILLIAN All's for the good in This best of all possible worlds!
CANDIDE: Objection! What about war?
PANGLOSS: War! Though war may seem a bloody curse It is a blessing in reverse When cannon roar Both rich and poor By danger are united! (Till every wrong is righted!)
Philosophers make evident The point that I have cited 'Tis war makes equal -- as it were -- The noble and the commoner Thus war improves relations!
ALL: Now onto conjugations!
PANGLOSS: Amo, amas, Amat, amamus!
STUDENTS: Amo, amas, Amat, amamus!
PANGLOSS: Proving that this is The best of all possible worlds With love and kisses [blows a kiss] The best of all possible worlds!
STUDENTS: Proving that this is The best of all possible worlds With love and kisses [blows a kiss] The best of all possible worlds!
PANGLOSS Quod erat demunstrandum! QED! Amo, amas, Amat amamus!
MAXIMILLIAN: (overlapping) Quod erat demunstrandum! QED! Amo, amas! Quod erat demunstrandum!
PAQUETTE: (overlapping) Quod erat demunstrandum! QED! Amo, amas!
CANDIDE: (overlapping) Quod erat demunstrandum! QED!
CUNEGONDE: (overlapping) Quod erat demunstrandum!
ALL: Quod erat demunstrandum In this best of all Possible, possible, possible worlds! Quod erat demunstrandum! Q! E! D!!!!!!!!!!!