[lbo-talk] The Aristocrats Joke

[joanna]

Chris asked what the joke was and I wrote out the basic version for him. 
Thought, I'd pass it along to anyone who hasn't seen the movie and was 
interested. This is a fairly mild version... the skeleton of the joke -- 
which is made funny by the telling and the embroidering in the second 
part. I don't claim to be a comedian, but I tried. The movie itself is 
about how this has been the comedian's in joke for at least three 
generations and how everybody spins their own version to prove how good 
they are. The movie (a documentary) tells the joke in the first ten 
minutes and then basically all the top comedians in the business tell 
their version of it....some of them are very funny. One of the grossest 
version is told by the guy who played the goodie-goodie dad in "Three's 
Company." That alone is worth the price of admission.  I do recommend 
the movie, but it's not for the faint of heart.

Joanna
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Basic Joke

[set up...]
A guy goes to see a talent agent and says "Hey, I've got the best act in 
the world. You're going to love this.."

"Yeah, sure" says the agent.

[the part that can go on for as long as your craft can take you...]
"No really," says the guy. "See, it's a family act. Very nice. My wife 
Cindy, our son Skip, my daughter Becky, Grandma, Grandpa and the dog. 
First my wife and I come out on stage: my wife is in a formal satin gown 
and I'm in a tuxedo.

So, catch this: first  my wife slowly takes of her gown, then I take off 
my belt and starting whacking her buttocks. When they start to redden, I 
take out my rod and bugger her. While i'm doing that my daughter comes 
out and licks my balls, and then Skip joins us and does a little rim job 
on Becky. THEN... out comes grandpa and grandma: SHE takes out her teeth 
and sucks off grandpa. Meanwhile, I pull out of my wife and take my 
daughter straight up while my wife sucks off Skip. Lots of blood! My 
daughte,r she's not quite nine and you know, and I've got a pretty big 
whanger. Then, the piece de resistance, the dog comes on. Otto! Our 
beloved german shepherd: Becky  whacks off Otto while grandpa buggers my 
wife as I take her up the cunt. For the grand finale, the dog takes a 
piss, which Becky deftly catches in a cup and pours down grandma's throat."

[finale...]
"Wow," says the talent agent, "And what do you call this act?"

"What else?" the guy says, " The Aristocrats!"