[lbo-talk] Prez feels the agony of the feet

[John Adams]

Some days, the best thing about the News is that it isn't the Post. Other days, though...

>From the New York Daily News -- 
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/col/story/353845p-301699c.html

Prez feels the agony of the feet

The President admiringly once described Miers as "a pit bull 
in size 6 shoes."

by Lenore Skenazy

Thank you all for coming to this press conference I called 
faster than you can say "Rattlesnake in a Wonderbra."

It has come to my attention, thanks to Dick Cheney - my own 
personal cougar in a hospital gown - that some of you in the 
news media have taken exception to my description of Harriet 
Miers, the woman I have long considered a colleague, a 
confidante and a dapper little shoe-wearing pet.

You in the babbling class started snickering just because I 
don't describe most of my male parts - counterparts, that is - 
by talking about their footwear or comparing them to ferocious 
animals best known for indiscriminately attacking children and 
other screaming bystanders.

Why not, you ask?

Because, frankly, Chief Justice John Roberts is no stingray in 
stilettos. He is - as I believe I am on record as saying - a 
G.I. Joe in Ken's boxers. A wolf in Smurf's clothing. A double 
bacon Whopper in a whole wheat spinach wrap. He is every 
mother's dream for their daughters and sons, depending on ... 
you know ... their lifestyle, which they are free to choose in 
this great country. So long as they don't marry.

But you reporters never talk about that.

What about the time I was complimenting Karl Rove and happened 
to compare him to a shark, but with less hair? Or the time I 
jokingly called him a bratwurst writ large? Or - perhaps I 
sometimes repeat myself - a pit bull in size 10 extra wides 
with comfort insoles? That never made any headlines and 
there's a reason:

Sexism.

Seems it's fine to call a guy like Chuck Schumer a Hyundai who 
thinks he's a Humvee. Or Ted Kennedy a pot belly in search of 
a stove. Or Howard Dean a screech owl in speech therapy.

But lightly jest that Hillary is a porcupine in a pantsuit - a 
Howitzer in a headband, Lucifer on a listening tour - and the 
press is at your throat.

So how would you prefer that I refer to my bodacious bevy of 
big shots in the future? With simple declarative sentences, 
flat and void of any color? Okay. For the record:

Condi is smart, except when, during Katrina, she went shopping 
for (uh - sorry - I have to say the word again!) shoes. Karen 
Hughes is pumped about America. Harriet Miers is a perfect fit 
for the Supreme Court.

Satisfied? Good. That was about as fun as swapping pedicures 
with a centipede that the left thinks is too right and the 
right thinks is too left - and I didn't even want a pedicure. 
In other words: not fun.


Thanks,

      John A
      see me fulminate at http://www.jzip.org/