[lbo-talk] It pays to be stupid in America

[Wojtek Sokolowski]

> Stella Awards It's time once again to review the winners of the Annual 
> "Stella Awards." The Stella Awards are named after
> 81 year-old Stella
> Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued 
> McDonald's (in NM). That case inspired the Stella awards for the most 
> frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the United States.
> 
>  Here are this year's winners: 
> 
> 5th Place (tie): Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded 
> $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over 
> a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the 
> store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the 
> misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.
> 
>  5th Place (tie): 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 
> and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda 
> Accord.
> Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of 
> the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
> 
>  5th Place (tie): 
> 
> Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had 
> just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the 
> garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was 
> malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door 
> connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The 
> family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the 
> garage for eight days.
> He subsisted on a case of
> Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the 
> homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental 
> anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.
> 
>  4th Place: 
> 
> Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and 
> medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door 
> neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced 
> yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog 
> might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who 
> had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it 
> repeatedly with a pellet gun.
> 
>  3rd Place: 
> 
> A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of 
> Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink 
> and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because 
> Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an 
> argument.
> 
> 2nd Place: 
> 
> Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a 
> night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom 
> window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred 
> while Ms.Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies 
> room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 
> and dental expenses.
> 
>  1st Place: 
> 
> This year's run away winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, 
> Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor 
> home.
> On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto 
> the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the 
> drivers seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich.
> Not surprisingly, the RV
> left the freeway, crashed and overturned. 
> 
> MrsGrazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual 
> that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 
> plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on 
> the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete 
> morons around.
> 
>