[lbo-talk] Liza & Doug have a kid (Advice...don't bounce!!!!)

[Bryan Atinsky]

>
> On Jan 1, 2006, at 9:06 AM, Doug Henwood wrote:
>
> Born in New York City, January 1, 2006, 7:36 AM: Ivan Henwood (middle 
> name TK), 8 lbs 2 oz. All parties are sleepy, but otherwise doing 
> quite well.
>
> Doug


Congrats Liza and Doug,

Mazal Tov and Mabruk!!!!

Some advice from the not-so-wise, who had to learn the hard way. 

No matter how bad you feel for your crying Ivan, no matter how little he 
weighs at the moment, no matter how much you want to go to sleep and 
take any shortcut so that he will stop crying quickly...DON'T BOUNCE or 
ROCK YOUR BABY TO SLEEP!!!

I say this now so you don't end up like me this past year (Noam, our 
baby girl was one year old on the 28th Dec. and now weighs something 
like 10 kilo). Every time she would cry, (and almost immediately) my 
wife and I would take turns bouncing her, rocking her and walking with 
her in our arms. Usually this was 2-3 times a night.

Crying babies are hard on the conscience of empathic people.

First problem: Once you get a baby used to the rocking/bouncing motion 
and falling asleep in your arms, they will only be able to go to fall 
asleep that way. It even started that she would wake up whenever we 
stopped rocking her.

Problem two: babies gain weight...and fast...

After Noam's fourth month, I began to have a back problem, it has hurt 
to some degree on and off since, and has really seized up for several 
days, three times now.

The final straw came only two weeks ago. Noam wouldn't go to sleep, so I 
bounced her in my arms, with me bouncing on this big rubber ball we 
have, for 25 minutes, until she fell asleep. I woke up the next morning 
and could barely stand from the pain in my back. I went to the office in 
Jerusalem, and at the end of the day, I stood up and began to have 
trouble breathing because my back hurt so bad...a co-worker had to help 
me get into a taxi to go home and the taxi driver had to help me out of 
the taxi. For 2 days I could barely walk, and it has taken until 2 days 
ago that my back doesn't hurt anymore.

So, finally, after all the suffering, we listened to the advice from 
many of our friends and relatives around us (who have been telling us 
not to do as we did from the beginning), and we suffered the process of 
weaning Noam from the bouncing. The first nights were torture (for us 
more than her I think). After a bottle, we lay her in her bed and tell 
her to go to sleep. She stands up and calls to be picked up... we tell 
her "you need to go to sleep" and lay her down. Then we just go to the 
other side of the room so she can see us and with our eyes averted, we 
sit there. The first night she cried for 45 minutes, and finally went to 
sleep. Then she woke up once during the night and cried for two minutes, 
saw we weren't going to come to her and fell asleep. (The 45 minutes 
were hell, but I knew I physically cannot take the old system anymore). 
The next night she cried less than 20 minutes... (we had tried this 
before, but we couldn't suffer her crying, so we would say, "OK, just 
this time, we'll pick her up..."). Anyway, the next night 10 minutes and 
she was asleep...and now she usually lays down when we put her in bed 
and my wife or I hold her hand for a couple minutes at most and she 
falls asleep. If she cries during the time before I fall asleep, I go in 
the room, when she sees me, she lays down, I hold her hands and she 
falls asleep.

It is so much better now, for both Noam and us: she cries less now, and 
we get more sleep, and I don't have to suffer back problems...

Perhaps you two are stronger than we were and can easily resist the 
temptation, but if you do feel compelled to start the rocking/bouncing 
business ("Just this once"), don't!!!

This is the best advice I can give to you.

Bryan