>
> On Jan 1, 2006, at 9:06 AM, Doug Henwood wrote:
>
> Born in New York City, January 1, 2006, 7:36 AM: Ivan Henwood (middle
> name TK), 8 lbs 2 oz. All parties are sleepy, but otherwise doing
> quite well.
>
> Doug
Congrats Liza and Doug,
Mazal Tov and Mabruk!!!!
Some advice from the not-so-wise, who had to learn the hard way.
No matter how bad you feel for your crying Ivan, no matter how little he weighs at the moment, no matter how much you want to go to sleep and take any shortcut so that he will stop crying quickly...DON'T BOUNCE or ROCK YOUR BABY TO SLEEP!!!
I say this now so you don't end up like me this past year (Noam, our baby girl was one year old on the 28th Dec. and now weighs something like 10 kilo). Every time she would cry, (and almost immediately) my wife and I would take turns bouncing her, rocking her and walking with her in our arms. Usually this was 2-3 times a night.
Crying babies are hard on the conscience of empathic people.
First problem: Once you get a baby used to the rocking/bouncing motion and falling asleep in your arms, they will only be able to go to fall asleep that way. It even started that she would wake up whenever we stopped rocking her.
Problem two: babies gain weight...and fast...
After Noam's fourth month, I began to have a back problem, it has hurt to some degree on and off since, and has really seized up for several days, three times now.
The final straw came only two weeks ago. Noam wouldn't go to sleep, so I bounced her in my arms, with me bouncing on this big rubber ball we have, for 25 minutes, until she fell asleep. I woke up the next morning and could barely stand from the pain in my back. I went to the office in Jerusalem, and at the end of the day, I stood up and began to have trouble breathing because my back hurt so bad...a co-worker had to help me get into a taxi to go home and the taxi driver had to help me out of the taxi. For 2 days I could barely walk, and it has taken until 2 days ago that my back doesn't hurt anymore.
So, finally, after all the suffering, we listened to the advice from many of our friends and relatives around us (who have been telling us not to do as we did from the beginning), and we suffered the process of weaning Noam from the bouncing. The first nights were torture (for us more than her I think). After a bottle, we lay her in her bed and tell her to go to sleep. She stands up and calls to be picked up... we tell her "you need to go to sleep" and lay her down. Then we just go to the other side of the room so she can see us and with our eyes averted, we sit there. The first night she cried for 45 minutes, and finally went to sleep. Then she woke up once during the night and cried for two minutes, saw we weren't going to come to her and fell asleep. (The 45 minutes were hell, but I knew I physically cannot take the old system anymore). The next night she cried less than 20 minutes... (we had tried this before, but we couldn't suffer her crying, so we would say, "OK, just this time, we'll pick her up..."). Anyway, the next night 10 minutes and she was asleep...and now she usually lays down when we put her in bed and my wife or I hold her hand for a couple minutes at most and she falls asleep. If she cries during the time before I fall asleep, I go in the room, when she sees me, she lays down, I hold her hands and she falls asleep.
It is so much better now, for both Noam and us: she cries less now, and we get more sleep, and I don't have to suffer back problems...
Perhaps you two are stronger than we were and can easily resist the temptation, but if you do feel compelled to start the rocking/bouncing business ("Just this once"), don't!!!
This is the best advice I can give to you.
Bryan