George Bush Jr. died, and of course went to hell. The devil, who looked suspiciously like Karl Rove, admitted him with pleasure, but a bit of consternation: Dubya, he explained, was certainly on the list, and had to be let in, but as the inferno was severely overcrowded, he would have to let someone go to make space. The devil considered for a moment, and announced his decison: in recognition of his status as former leader of the free world, Bush would be allowed to view three possible eternities, and decide whose place he would take.
So the devil opened one door, and there was Saddam Hussein, trying to keep afloat in a lake of boiling water. "No way", said Bush. "I can't swim, and there's no way I'm letting HIM out of here.
The devil opened another door, and there was Tony Blair, cracking boulders with a sledgehammer in a roasting desert. "Sorry, Tony" said Bush. "A Bush can't do manual labor, we have illegal immigrants for that stuff. Besides, the air conditioning is broken".
The devil opens the third door, and there's Bill Clinton, on his back on a mattress, hands and feet tied, with Monica Lewinsky straddling him, performing the services that made her famous. Bush decided on the spot: "Now that's what I call eternity", he said. "I'll take this one"!
The devil replied "Are you sure? It can get tedious."
"Absolutely".
"So be it", says the devil...
"Monica, you may go..."