Nov. 01, 2006 A Guide to Nationalism Russia surrounded by a ring of evil
Georgia's treachery almost took Russians by surprise. To prevent that from happening again, Vlast analytical weekly has prepared a guide to Russia's neighbors and methods of combating them. In recent weeks, Russians have found out much about the negative role that Georgia and Georgians play in their lives. They now know that 1 million Georgians live in Russia illegally and squeeze $1 billion per year out of the federal economy and send it home to Georgia. Moreover, Georgians are the backbone of the Russian criminal world and they control the big casinos where Russians are stripped bare and poisoned with poor quality wine.
This is shocking information for society. Who would have guessed that Georgians have had the greatest number of criminal “godfathers” since back in the 1950s? Or that their immigrants don't like to register with the authorities, don't like to work hard and send their salaries back to their relatives at home? That ignorance has left public figures and a wide circle of patriotic citizens temporarily at a loss as they try various means of acting against the enemy, without hitting at the most vulnerable spots yet.
The situation is worrisome, as is the fact that it may be repeated. That is first because Russia has no constant allies, except its army and navy. Second, history has shown that even Moscow's best friends betray it and become its worst enemies – it's a peculiarity of friends of Moscow. Third, Russian President Vladimir Putin has ordered that citizens be protected against all immigrants, obviously meaning not only Georgians, who make up just a tenth of the army of illegals that is scattered throughout the country. And illegals are not the only danger – legal immigrants are no less dangerous.
That is why Vlast has prepared this short guide of potential enemies of sovereign, democratic Russia. The list includes countries that border on Russia and thus form a circle of malice. Also included are former Soviet republics that do not border on Russia but still are of strategic interest to it. There are recommendations for every country that will minimize their evil influence no les effectively than canceling the performances of dace ensembles and expelling schoolchildren whose last names end with –dze and –shvili.
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Armenia
Armenians, along with Ukrainians, are among the rare peoples who number over 1 million in Russia without being natives. In 2002, 1,130,491 Armenians lived in Russia. That figure is increasing, and 18,820 former residents of Armenia became Russian citizens in the first half of this year. According to the Federal Migration Service, 26,169 citizens of Armenia found temporary work in Russia last year, and 27,474 in the first half of this year. It would seem that there are another million and a half more, since Interior Minister Rashid Nurgaliev stated this summer that “more than 2.5 million Armenians live on the territory of Russia who represent a serious diaspora and whose industriousness is a serious support for the Russian Federation.” They also represent a serious support for their relatives back home.
Personal money transfers from Armenia to Russia totaled $14.5 million in the second quarter of this year, and transfers from Russia to Armenia came to $128.7 million in the same period.
Exports from Russia to Armenia (fuel, raw diamonds, aluminum products and cars) were worth $191 million in 2005, and imports from Armenia (alcohol, food and technical equipment) amounted to $101 million.
The insignificant trade turnover, especially when compared with the volume of cash transfers between the countries, emphasizes the fact that Armenia is considered a strategic ally of Russia, ready to do Moscow's bidding at any time. Complications in relations with such an ally are unlikely, but possible. For example, Armenia's neighbors could close the transportation corridors between the two countries. To avoid a blockade, Yerevan would be forced seek other allies, which would most likely strongly displease Moscow. But the huge Armenian community in that does not fit migration law too closely gives Russia ample room for maneuvering.
Recommendations:
1. Ban the sale of Armenian cognac (as inconsistent with Russian concepts of clarity and taste) and lavash (as inconsistent with Russian concepts of bread).
2. Reject all words that end, like Armenian last names, in –yan, including the Russian nicknames Tolyan and Demyan.
4. Cancel the television show Comedy Club.
5. Boycott all taxis, restaurants and other tourism-related businesses in Sochi.
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Azerbaijan
According to the 2002 census, 621,840 residents of Russia consider themselves Azeri. That number is growing not only due to natural reproduction. In the first half of this year alone, 12,167 former residents of Azerbaijan became Russian citizens. In addition, the Federal Migration Service says that 17,302 temporary workers from Azerbaijan last year, and 17,945 just in the first half of this year. Half of them are engaged in trade and 28 percent in construction. Sources in Azerbaijan give different figures. The country's State Committee on Azeris Living Abroad says 2.5 million Azeris live in Russia (1.5 million of them in Moscow) and the Baku newspaper Azadlyg says 3-4 million of Azerbaijan's 8,483,000 citizens live in Russia.
Personal money transfers from Azerbaijan to Russia n the second quarter of 2006 amounted to $6.1 million. Transfers from Russia to Azerbaijan in that time were $94.2 million.
Exports (cars and other vehicles, foodstuffs) from Russia to Azerbaijan in 2005 were worth $858 million. Imports from Azerbaijan totaled $206 million (petroleum products, oil refinery equipment, cotton, agricultural goods).
Perceivable conflicts between Moscow and Baku came to an end ten years ago when Heidar Aliev replaced Abulfaz Elcibay as president. But Moscow cannot forgive Azerbaijan for its membership in the anti-Russian GUAM organization or its pro-American orientation, which led it to support the Baku-Tbilisi-Ceyhan pipeline that offers no benefits to Russia. Baku will never forget that Russia's main ally in the Transcaucasus is Armenia, with which it has an unfinished war over Nagorny Karabakh. In spite of that, the two countries work hard to display their friendship and cooperation. The Year of Azerbaijan was declared in 2005, and this year is the Year of Russia in Azerbaijan.
Thus, in the foreseeable future direct conflict is unlikely, but possible, considering the political controversies, possible interference in Russian-Azerbaijan relations by the United States or Turkey and the possible unwilling involvement of Azeris in incidents in Russia such as the one recently in Kondopoga.
Recommendations:
1. Impose law and order on bazaars in Russia by deporting illegal immigrants (using their own illegal incomes to pay for it).
2. Continue to increase Gazprom tariffs until production at the Shakh-Deniz deposit reaches its projected capacity.
3. Conduct public education on the harmful effects of Transcaucasian tomatoes and grapes.
4. Launch a campaign to convince the public of the desirability of Russian daisies and dahlias over Caucasian carnations, which, besides everything else, have revolutionary connotation.
5. Ban clearance sales of jogging suits and mohair scarves.
6. Ban the song of Muslim Magomaev and the films of Yuly Gusman.
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Belarus
The 2002 census found that 807,970 Russians consider themselves Belarusians. It can be suggested that that number has grown slightly. In the first half of this year, 4240 residents of Belarus became Russian citizens. The Union State of Russia and Belarus gives Belarusian citizens the right to move between the countries uncontrolled. The Federal Migration Service does not register Belarusian workers. More than 3600 Belarusian citizens voted in Russia during the reelection of Belarusian President Alexander Lukashenko this spring. The Belarusian Interior Ministry's Department of Citizenship and Migration says that up to 300,000 Belarusians are working in Russia illegally (out of a total of 9.8 million Belarusian citizens).
Personal money transfers from Belarus to Russian in the second quarter of this year totaled $5.5 million. Transfers from Russia to Belarus were $9.8 million.
Export to Belarus in 2005 (cars and other transportation equipment, minerals, metals and chemical products) was worth $10.094 billion dollars. Imports from Belarus (the same things, minus minerals and with the addition of foodstuffs and agricultural raw materials) were worth $5.714.
Relations between Russia and Belarus have developed in recent years according to the principle that lovers' quarrels are the sweetest to make up. Moscow accuses Minks of breaking the union state agreement by not introducing a common currency and turning its gas distribution network over to Russia. In response, Moscow is accused of belittling Belarus. The questions are never settled. The scandals arise, die down and come up again a few months later. A new scandal could lead to a cold war, the main weapon in which would be cutting off of economic ties, especially trade and gas supplies. That is the only way to bleed Belarus, since Russia accounts for half of its trade turnover.
But the Belarusian front looks the most dangerous. First, there are psychological factors. Most Russians, in spite of the efforts of propagandists, still look with approval on Belarus, on the union state and on Alexander Lukashenko. Second, the same segment of the population that approves of Belarus will disapprove of the disappearance of cheap Belarusian food and clothing from stores if economic ties are severed. Lukashenko promised that, if Russia raises the price of natural gas to Belarus, 10 million Russians would lose their jobs in factories that make parts for Belarusian trucks and tractors. It is hard to say why the Belarusian leader thinks that practically the whole of the Russian manufacturing sector is occupies making Belarusian trucks parts, but the threat sounds frightful. Even worse is the perspective of Russian gas flowing toward Europe through an unfriendly country that is poorly integrated into the world community.
Recommendations:
1. Mount a propaganda campaign to convince Russians that their utilities prices are rising because they are remaining low in Belarus.
2. Quickly form a union (preferably an alliance of sovereign republics) with some other state, Kazakhstan maybe, to show how simple it is given mutual desire.
3. Cut off supplies for Belarusian trucks and tractors.
4. Check Belarusian-made furniture and clothing for radioactivity. Receive a positive result.
Etc.: http://www.kommersant.com/p715425/Russia_surrounded_ring_evil/
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