maybe i'm misunderstanding joanna and jerry, but at the moment i'm finding it very interesting that my own anecdote -- a very small part of a very long story leading up to and including my present a/theistic position -- has suddenly landed me on the side of those hostile to religion.
the idea that i somehow extrapolated from a twisted would-be missionary to the non-existence of god, or that that was the point of my anecdote, is a little much. but i certainly don't believe in *that guy's* god and never would.
my academic work is primarily in mysticism, and within that negative theology. i'm quite familiar with eckhart and his spirtual grandfather, dionysius the areopagite (on whom i've published). i also find nagarjuna's brand of buddhism very appealing. but i chose not to talk about those things because it seemed to me that most people on this list already thought me a religious man, and it seemed more germane and maybe more interesting to note how i am not. the first step away from it -- for me -- was to begin to recognize what in certain forms of religiosity was simply unacceptable to me. i do not claim either that there is no god or, still less, that my anecdote proves it. on the contrary, no such thing can be proven. and eckhart's apophaticism, including his idea of idolatry, is very near to my own thinking about things, although i still prefer the horse's mouth (dionysius) and i still feel infinitely more atheist than christian, or even religious or, god forbid, "spiritual" <shudder>.
so, just for the record.
beyond that, i have never liked the word agnostic, which always seemed to me a way of avoiding committing oneself to the term atheist. i prefer to say i'm an atheist and then, if it gets that far, explain what i mean by it -- which includes the idea that i don't claim to "know" any more than an agnostic does. i tend to understand theism technically, as referring to a belief in a personal god who takes an active hand in the world. i don't believe in that. if i did, i would worship that god. i'm not a deist, either, in part because, who worships a deistic god? what's the point? and that's the thing, right? so i call myself an atheist and i have a pretty good idea what i mean by it, and i think it's sustainable both in technical philosophy of religion/theology terms and in common terms of not believing in (any of) the god(s) that people will generally mean when they ask me if i believe in god. in those cases it's much easier to just say no than to try to explain what i do think. and more likely to be understood.
and yeah, i like spinoza, too.
j
-- http://brainmortgage.blogspot.com/ http://www.brill.nl/default.aspx?partid=18&pid=21721