Chuck
Ignore the fact that there is a big problem with domestic violence?
^^^^ CB: Ignore the fact that to non-BDSM people, that some BDSM seems to simulate violent acts toward women, and therefore may feed into the misogynist mentality of men who beat/rape women.
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WTF?
^^^ CB; To me you are just being dense if you don't see how people might have some concern about promotion of BDSM feeding misogynist thinking. You don't fucking see how some people might see a connection ? Give me a break. If you are trying to convince people that there isn't misogynist mentality or torturer's mentality in it, you need to think about the obvious, and stop acting like it's obvious how BDSM doesn't seem like purveying violent mentality.
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Where do you get off bringing that into this discussion?
^^^^^ CB: Your indignity is so ridiculous. Why don't you just go right ahead and continue on your high horse , because you are going to convince about nobody to give a good goddamn about what you are saying. Oh poor BDSMers. Everybody thinks they are weird.
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Why the fuck are you insinuating that I am ignoring domestic violence? I'm a feminist, fer chrissakes, who knows plenty of women who have been raped and/or been victims of domestic violence.
^^^^ CB: I hate to go ad hominem , but you are really being dense.
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I can't ignore the fact that the overwhelming majority of that violence is being perpetrated by men with no interest in BDSM or other forms of kinky sex.
^^^^^ CB: How do you know that ? Maybe most domestically violent men and rapists are just sadists trying to bring out the "inner masochist" in the women they violate ? Who are you to judge their sex as not the right kind of kinky sex ?
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That's not to say that men involved in BDSM/kink are angels. The men involved in those communities are like other guys. But what bothers me here is your association of domestic violence with BDSM/kink. Do you understand that BDSM/kink is a form of *consensual roleplaying*?
Chuck
^^^^^ CB: Yea, that's what I said. You need to explain in detail how BDSM/kink is not like domestic violence or rape. You really need to stop ignoring what many people understand to be happening in BDSM/kink. Also, for there to be sort of publically broadcast endorsements of BDSM , there are many men (boys !) who might get the wrong idea.
We are trying to teach boys not to hit or violate girls and women. Oh but, we have to make an exception for BDSM. Don't hit girls unless you are having BDSM. You of course, see absolutely nothing confusing in that, and are offended that anyone would suggest that it might be confusing.
What about men/boys who might decide they're going to drop the "consensual" part , and use only part of the psychoanalysis that Doug refers to ? What about men who decide they are just playing and getting out their aggressions, but decide it's ok if their "masochist" is not in on the game ? It's all healthy and everything according to their particular school of psychoanalytical theory. "She wants it rough anyway, _subconsciously_." Are you , th anarchist, going to tell them that because of your authority they can't do this if they leave out the other party's consent ? They turn back to you and say "fuck your authority". I'm doing it my way.
Being dense about all this does not help your cause of gaining everybody's approval of BDSM. And why are we talking about this if BDSMers are not trying to get others' approval ? If you don't care about what we think, then just do it and don't talk about it to us.