Doug Henwood wrote:
>
>>
> In one, the recipient of abuse asks for it, even craves it. In the
> other, s/he doesn't. How could it be more different?
Bad word choice. The word _abuse_ connotes non-consensual activity. The "bottom" in a bdsm relationship is NOT abused, he/she is caressed in a way that he/she desires. (The fantasy may involve imaging the caress as abuse, but that gets complicated.)
Carrol