[lbo-talk] Sex and Stuff

Yoshie Furuhashi critical.montages at gmail.com
Wed Jan 10 09:03:16 PST 2007


On 1/10/07, BklynMagus <magcomm at ix.netcom.com> wrote:
> Yoshie:
> > If the survey is correct and dominant men tend
> > to be pro-feminist but straight men into BDSM
> > prefer humiliation to domination, it doesn't seem
> > as if the result would be an improvement for women
> > or feminism.
>
> Come on, Yoshie. Just imagine a world where straight
> men regularly submitted to and enjoyed erotic humiliation
> from women. Oh, the possibilities. LOL.

Isn't the reason why a majority of straight men who are into BDSM enjoy humiliation rather than domination that, in the real world, straight men are in the dominant position (relative to women and gay men) and therefore they enjoy temporary reversal of reality in fantasy? The same longing for fantastic reversal of reality may motivate gay men into BDSM to eroticize hypermasculinity, as you also noted from the Journal of Homosexuality studies, for homophobia in the real world still often stereotypes gay men as feminine.

Now, it's common to fantasize about what's missing in the real world, and there's nothing wrong with it, but there's probably nothing particularly liberating about it either in most cases. Straight men take a break from the business of dominance in the real world, which compels them to deny their desire for submission, and visit their dominatrixes, enjoy what they deny themselves at work, and, after their break, get back to business as usual. Only if straight men into BDSM learn not to compartmentalize -- dominance at work, submission at play -- and demand freedom from the business of domination at work can they challenge structural social inequality which alienates the dominant as well as the subordinate.


> > Or could it be that quality can't be inferred from quantity?
>
> I don't know. If I were a trained researcher I would
> be better able to answer the question, but in my experience
> quantity can often lead to a diversity of experiences that
> sticking with the tried and true does not afford.
> No matter the quality of sex with my husband,
> there are certain experiences we cannot have with each other.

Surely. But I'd say that it doesn't seem to be the case of the more, always the better. -- Yoshie <http://montages.blogspot.com/> <http://mrzine.org> <http://monthlyreview.org/>



More information about the lbo-talk mailing list