> No one can judge the degree of freedom in someone
>else's private experience.
>
>Carrol
>
I don't know, shrinks do this all the time. Perhaps we don't want to use
the word "judge," but certainly "understand" might be appropriate.
1. You have a kid who can only get off by raping women. How free is your kid?
2. You have a kid who can only get off by exposing himself to children. How free is your kid?
3. You have a kid who can only get off by wearing liederhosen and being shat on. How free is your kid?
4. You have a kid who can only get off by being whipped? How free is your kid?
Lots of people go see shrinks precisely because their lives feel narrow and restricted , sometimes sexually so.
Now, consider the next propositions:
5. You have a kid who can only get off by having sex with a woman he loves and feels sexually attracted to (and who feels the same way about him.)
6. You have a kid who can only get off by having sex with a woman whom he is sexually attracted to (and who feels the same way about him).
Now everyone on this list, except for ravi, are arguing that #3 and # 4 and #5 and #6 are the same. I don't agree. I'm also not sure where to put BDSM; probably because it's a huge gray area.
As for the comments ridiculing "spontaneity" -- I am always amazed by the complete contempt people have for the body.
Joanna