> All sex can be coerced. Can you show me some evidence that BDSM
> practitioners are more likely than non-BDSM practitioners to engage in
> coerced sex?
Nope. I don't know that there've been the sort of careful studies that would prove (or disprove) that. What little research on it I've seen seems agenda-driven.
> Unless you can show me BSDM practitioners are more likely to abuse
> their sex partners in a non-consensual way the "unpleasant realities"
> about these relationships seem to exist only inside the minds of
> uninformed people.
> John A. and Charles want to imply a connection to BSDM practices and
> non-consensual criminal behaviour.
You're really quite free with what I have and haven't said. I haven't said a word about criminal behavior. Not all coercion is criminal, you know, nor is it necessarily ethically wrong, even when it may not be good for the object of coercion.
> They think we should be on the lookout for it but they never offer any
> support for this connection beyond "It seems obvious."
You and other bdsm practioners +are+ "on the lookout" for abuse. If it weren't so, then organized bdsmers wouldn't spend so much time trumpeting the need to be inside the bdsm community to avoid abuse and abusers. Thus the claim: Abusive people are not bdsmers, by definition, since bdsm is not abusive and the bdsm community opposes abuse.
> While I agree it seems obvious that many people will make this
> connection that is because the human minds attempts to forge links
> where none exist, not because of any actually existing links. I am
> open to reading any data that supports their position. Not writings
> about the possible connection but real data that supports this
> position. Short of that I will conclude seeing a danger in BDSM
> relationships is for some the same as seeing faces in clouds and for
> others an attempt to hide prudishness behind the issue of concern for
> others.
What really offends me about this is that I (unlike Charles) don't suggest you (or anyone in particular) shouldn't practice bdsm. I am saying that, like skydiving or taking psychedelic drugs, there are risks--physical, mental, and social--to be forthrightly acknowledged and balanced with their benefits.
All the best,
John A