My spouse was talking mostly about his personal problems: that he had screwed up childhood, and that he cannot get his act together despite all the help he got from friends and acquantances (which is true.) I talked about how fucked up the US system is, because it by design makes it difficult for "marginally stable" people like the person we know to function. For example, he was able to hold on to a job, but it was dependence on cars that did him in. He had previous DUI convictions, and this time it was parking tickets that put him behind bars. In other countries (e.g. EU) people like him would probably be able to marginally function despite thier addiction, not being held hostage to the automobile industry and the army of parasites attached it - cops, mechanics, parking officers, motor vehicle agency bureaucrats, insurance salesmen, creditors and so on.
Although I tried to strike a balance and acknowledge the guy's personal "contributions" to his predicament, but also look at the broader systemic ramifications of it, I was accused of turning everything into politics and not seeing a personal aspect of it. The conversation ended on a less than friendly note.
Ironically, this conversation was a mirror image of the conversations that I am having on this list, in which I am being accused of turning everything into personal responsibility and not seeing a systemic aspect of it. These conversations often end on a less tnan friendly notes too.
This nicely illustrates the cognitive dissonance I experience in this fucked up country. I can barely talk to the mainstream US-ers, who perceive me as a crank and a chronic complainer who politicizes everything and cannot simply enjoy things that everyone else does (like driving, TV, sports, or suburban living). I do not seem to score much better on the self-professed radical side, where I am beeing seen as a closet reactionary oblivious to systemic faults and a misnathrope who "faults the victims."
I used to enjoy this cognitive dissonance and an outsider perspective it provided, but lately I find it more and more annoying. Perhaps I am getting old, but perhaps there is a limit how much dissonance one can experience in life. I feel that needs to be resolved somehow, albeit I am not sure how.
Wojtek
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