>One must pay attention and be sensitive. All Truths vary with time and
>circumstance.
>
>[WS:] Gee you sound exactly like her. So what exactly was I supped to do,
>just listen and nod?
>
Yes. There is an "art" to listening. It's a bit more than listening and
nodding.
Non-judgemental listening is a form of holding and protecting someone. Basically what happens is that you provide a safe environment for someone to express how they feel. The thing to understand is that they don't actually know how they feel until they try to put it into words. You're giving them a chance to find those words. The putting into words gives them a chance to work through their feelings because feelings aren't a single thing; they're a jumble of things.
While they're working through, you do things to reflect what they're saying, to encourage, to help them "push." It's like assisting a birth. When they are done and relieved, then you can introduce other ideas, perspectives. But while they're talking it out, the focus needs to be on them, on what they're feeling, etc.
Next time you're in a similar situation you should experiment with this process. It's a time consuming process which depends on patience and on your having enough faith to allow for silences. You will be quite amazed at the results.
Joanna