The groom asks, "Rabbi, I know that our tradition tells us that men should dance with men, and women with women. Still, we should like to know if we could dance together."
"Not in any way," answered the rabbi. "It is not permitted for the man to dance with the woman."
"Not even after we are married can I dance with my wife?"
"No, " answered the rabbi. "It is forbidden."
"OK," says the groom. "What about sex? Can I finally have sex with my wife?"
"Of course," replies the rabbi. "Sex is mitzvah (good) in marriage, so you can have children."
"OK. And positions?"
"Whatever. It's mitzvah."
"Woman on top?"
"Absolutely! It's mitzvah."
"Doggy-style?"
"Of course; it's mitzvah."
"On the kitchen table?"
"Naturally, mitzvah."
"On a rubber sheet with a little bottle of warm oil, a couple of vibrators, leather straps, a little jar of honey, and some porn videos?"
"No problem. It's mitzvah."
"Can we do it standing up?"
"Aaaah, that, no!. Not in any way, it is forbidden."
"Why?" asks the groom?"
"Too much like dancing."