[lbo-talk] How to make a citizen's arrest: a guide for the perplexed

andie nachgeborenen andie_nachgeborenen at yahoo.com
Tue Sep 4 11:57:19 PDT 2007


Although I can't offer this as legal advice, I'd consider it unwise and imprudent to make a citizens' arrest in most circumstances. If you're not certain about probable cause, you expose yourself to liability for assault, battery, false imprisonment, heaven knows what. If you are certain about probable cause because the perpetrator just committed or is attempting to commit an obvious crime, there is a risk that he may be armed, experienced in the use of firearms or other weapons, and more willing to use them than you are. If, however, you see a would-be terrorist light a bomb on a plane, it's probably worth trying to stop him, whatever you call it.

--- Dwayne Monroe <idoru345 at yahoo.com> wrote:


> Recently, the issue of citizen's arrest - Is it
> real?
> What are the legal liabilities? Does it involve
> monkeys in any way? - has burst onto the busy LBO
> scene like Pam Anderson out of a bikini top.
>
> A law professor, code named "Andie", has weighed in
> with sagacious advice. Which is good if you like
> accuracy and listening to people who know what
> they're
> talking about.
>
> But if you're at all like me - a steel eyed risk
> taker
> who drives too fast, maxes out multiple credit
> cards,
> uses a hairless Egyptian cat named Apophis as a
> marriage counselor and enjoys the odd hunting trip
> with Dick "ooops-a-daisy" Cheney - you're hungry for
> alternative sources of information.
>
>
> ...
>
> Citizen's Arrest Fun Fact One: Use of lasers is not
> only permitted, but encouraged.
>
> Today's super criminal, hepped up on a drug cocktail
> of Dianabol, Haldol, Dextromephorphan and Red Bull
> laughs at bullets as yesterday's anti-crime tool.
> To
> deal with such miscreants you must use coherent
> light
> - the more coherent, the better.
>
> Don't hesitate to deploy your laser to intercept
> even
> the most harmless seeming offense: loud radio
> playing,
> for example. As the perp burns, screaming the name
> of
> his mum and perhaps, the "what a world" quote from
> the
> 'Wizard of Oz', your neighbors will applaud your
> bravery: just as neighbors do in the movies.
>
>
> Citizen's Arrest Fun Fact Two: Yes, monkeys are
> involved.
>
>
> As every schoolchild knows, monkeys are natural
> crime
> fighters. Recent studies conducted at "The
> Institute"
> confirm what we've sensed all along: God made
> monkeys
> (maybe on the busy third day of creation) to act as
> every man's Robin or Kato or fill in the name of
> your
> own favorite sidekick.
>
> With a properly trained monkey at your side, crime
> doesn't stand a chance!
>
>
>
> Citizen's Arrest Fun Fact Three: Why not use
> explosives?
>
>
> Consider this scenario...
>
> A smarmy, non-handicapped guy driving a Mercedes
> S-Class parks in a handicapped space at Target.
>
> He's broken the law. Quick! Now's the time for your
> minutes of training as a citizen arrester to come
> into
> play. With the assistance of Generalissimo Bubbles,
> your faithful monkey partner, you place several
> blocks
> of semetex beneath the offender's overpriced car.
> Using your laser (see fun fact one) you trigger the
> detonator.
>
> Of course, much of the parking lot, half of the
> store
> and many other cars are destroyed but this is a
> small
> price to pay for the continued rule of law!
>
>
>
> ..
>
>
> I hope you've taken these helpful tips to heart and
> will use them as a guide as you begin your citizen's
> arresting career.
>
> God's speed Citizens!
>
>
>
>
>
> .d.
> ___________________________________
>
http://mailman.lbo-talk.org/mailman/listinfo/lbo-talk
>

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