My take on it is to avoid the metaphysical questions--I can't know them and anyone who claims to is deluded--and to focus on just how UN spare the possibility of criminalization would have to be. I wrote a post on this a few years ago, when South Dakota threatened to ban abortion. IIRC there was an Indian Tribe in SD that, thereafter, declared that it would provide legal abortions for anyone since there was no state jurisdiction. Anyway, I had been thinking about the issue a more than usual (I think it was the Halliburton thing) and, in retrospect, I am hoping the tone is sarcastic enough for the irony to come through. I think it is almost on par with a post by shag or even our resident joke writer, but I wrote it when I was tired and am sending this while I'm tired so my judgment may be impaired. In any case, I'm sure there are angles to this I'm completely overlooking (both logical and, following the tone of the piece, absurd) so feedback is welcome:
http://overlynuanced.blogspot.com/2006/02/so-now-it-startswhere-are-libertarians.html
> South Dakota passes abortion ban
>
> Wed Feb 22, 10:06 PM ET
>
> South Dakota became the first U.S. state to pass a law
> banning abortion in virtually all cases, with the
> intention of forcing the Supreme Court to reconsider
> its 1973 decision legalizing the procedure.
>
> The law, which would punish doctors who perform the
> operation with a five-year prison term and a $5,000
> fine, awaits the signature of Republican Gov. Michael
> Rounds and people on both sides of the issue say he is
> unlikely to veto it.
>
> "My understanding is we are the first state to truly
> defy Roe v. Wade," the 1973 high court ruling that
> granted a constitutional right to abortion, said Kate
> Looby of Planned Parenthood's South Dakota chapter.
>
> [...]
>
>
_______________________
South Dakota says, "That's not your vagina! That's OUR vagina."
So now it starts...We will need to have tracking devices on all women--intra-uteral satellite transponders that will keep track of when women become pregnant (and especially before hand--they are doing ever more reckless, independent things). Then special data collectors to make sure that they don't do anything to harm the fetus during the term (drinking, smoking, staying up late, talking back to their husbands, anything that can be "scientifically proven" to harm the fetus). All of this would be necessary because, if abortion is illegal, we have to know that doctors won't be the only ones doing it; a black market will grow up around this and the people who can pay will get it done. Sounds like the going rate will be about $5K. So the peple who we will need the transponders on the most are the rich ladies, but we might as well have all uteruses equipped with them. All run through the fetal protection administration (FPA) under the Total Uteral Resource Monitoring Act (TURMA).
Once the fetuses start growing, it will be important to monitor the fetal hosts (formerly known as "mothers" or "women") to make certain that no improper care is made of the fetus. In the past, fetal hosts were seen as responsible, perhaps even as the ones most able to make decisions for the fetuses they carried: in the state mandated version of "the culture of life," this cannot be taken for granted. Luckily we have the ability to create the technology to monitor the uteral resources of our nation to be sure they are properly managed for fetal growth. Of course this monitoring will only be for the benefit of the fetus and, upon birth, as now, the responsibility will be left to the "mother." (After they're born, as now, they're your problem!)
The monitoring of the fetal host will need to take place under close observation. These facilities could be doubled as detention facilities for female citizens who do not observe their responsibilities as fetal hosts, again according to the "scientific" definition of what is good for the baby, the rigors of which are evident in the metaphysical definition of life that has generated this state policy. The mandatory sentence limit for this kind of murder will have to be mitigated in some part by the fetal hosts' age and fertility. If both are in order, it makes sense to let her win some concessions by agreeing to participate once again in the Culture of Life. Perhaps public impregnation would be an agreeable punishment for such a fetal host.
The difficult part will be keeping track of all the miscarriages. Because something like 90% of fertilized eggs are either never implanted or are lost during term, this will be a hefty endeavor to be sure. Many women don't even know they have a fertilized egg or are pregnant until well into the pregnancy. This will require some very high tech gear implanted deep in the womb in order to monitor every woman's cycle--which would then immediately let her know so that she can adjust her behavior to limit her risk of prosecution. In the event of a miscarriage, she'll need to make sure to save whatever fetal material is left and transfer it to the Miscarriage Investigation Unit (MIU). Eventually we can probably make it possible for the MIU to be on call to come collect this fetal material, but in the meantime, emotionally distressing as it might be, she'll need to make sure to save everything and notify the local police of the death so they can begin collecting data to determine if it was just accidental manslaughter or intentional murder. (Right now it's just a $5K fine, but I am sure eventually it will be a murder charge on top of it--a life is a life, right?).
The fine will certainly stay in place because we'll need some way to pay for developing all of this technology and monitoring the 70 million or so women of childbearing age 24 hours a day through all their sexual activities and uteral events. Since we aren't allowed to use any public administration in matters of health care, we will probably contract this out to a private company. They will be better motivated to keep these matters on the up and up because the free market will encourage them to innovate their technology and keep a very close eye on the uteruses in their database. A tie in with private detention facilities could also be profitable for them as then they could collect fines and confine women as well. As for the trials that would evaluate the data, well they would all be based on the highly scientific instruments of these institutions so there would be little doubt about the guilt of these baby killers. It might have to be mitigated if more than 50% of the female population was eventually incarcerated, but at least we'd be able to keep a close eye on them. (This is also a way that cases of rape or incest could be more quickly determined. With so much monitoring of uteral resources, we should be able to quickly determine if the fetus is the product of family members. On rape, there must certainly be a way of determining if the fetal host "wanted it," as they say colloquiually. Chemical indicators or possibly other forms of phyisical evidence could be collected in real time and used to determine this in each case. And either way, in a Culture of Life--does it really matter who helped God's miracle come about within the fetal host! Praise Jesus!)
A possible company that could handle all of this would be KBR, the subsidiary of Halliburton that has just been awarded a contract to be on hand in case we need to round up the immigrants in the country:
<OPEN QUOTE>
KBR awarded Homeland Security contract worth up to $385M
By Katherine Hunt
Last Update: 12:19 PM ET Jan 24, 2006
SAN FRANCISCO (MarketWatch) -- KBR, the engineering and construction subsidiary of Halliburton Co. (HAL : Halliburton Company, said Tuesday it has been awarded a contingency contract from the Department of Homeland Security to supports its Immigration and Customs Enforcement facilities in the event of an emergency. The maximum total value of the contract is $385 million and consists of a 1-year base period with four 1-year options. KBR held the previous ICE contract from 2000 through 2005. The contract, which is effective immediately, provides for establishing temporary detention and processing capabilities to expand existing ICE Detention and Removal Operations Program facilities in the event of an emergency influx of immigrants into the U.S., or to support the rapid development of new
programs, KBR said. The contract may also provide migrant detention support to other government organizations in the event of an immigration emergency, as well as the development of a plan to react to a national emergency, such as a natural disaster, the company said. <CLOSE QUOTE>
today when President Bush announces his plan (in response to Hurricane Katrina) for disaster relief being run through the Pentagon instead of FEMA, this is what he means--more troops from private security agencies (though at least we know it won't be managed by one of those misogynistic Muslim nations [lots of irony here], thanks to the xenophobic patriots looking out for our national security). It is sure to be efficient though, just as the MIU of the FPA will be. KBR or like companies certainly have the ability to house fetal hosts in cases of mass pregnancy and it makes sense to speak with defense contractors about developing the intrauteral technology necessary to monitor the nation's valuable uteral resources: it is an issue of national security, after all. The Culture of Life must be protected with the fiercest most precise weapons available.
The issue of male seed emissions will eventually have to be dealt with as well, as we wouldn't want to be hypocritical. Keeping close track of lost opportunities to fertilize our nation's valuable ovular resources seems as important an issue as lost fetuses themselves. Ideally it would be mandated that every male seed emission be made inside a potential fetal host, but since social norms have changes some since the thirteenth century, and potential fetal hosts have been encouraged to be in more control of the entry points to their wombs, it may take some time before an actual mandate can be applied and full state/corporate control of all sexual interactions can be more completely secured.
If the question of liberty arises or the intrusion of government into people's private affairs, there might be little defense. But since most women in the country seem completely okay with this as they have been silent on the issue for several years, the evidence would suggest that there would be little resistance.
On the other hand, if there was some resistance to this obvious intrusion it would be about fucking time. Let's just hope we don't need this far of an intrusion is necessary for the people in this country--and especially the women--to wake up and realize that fascists are hijacking their vaginas.