so what the hell? obviously, it's marketed and shoved down people's throat uh yeah whatever... so that's partly why it's so popular. but things are marketed at us all the time, and they don't become so popular.
is this only an amercian thing? or are westerners, everywhere, yearning to get their shitters bright shiny squeaky clean.
i DEMAND an lbo issue devote an article to the topic in its relationship to economic chaos.
..............
As every schoolchild knows, nearly all my stories these days involve either Zizek, women I've dated, hornets or my forever war against hornets. Though recently, those suspicious ants in the front yard merit even closer scrutiny than the bald faced hornets. (You'll never get my sweet, creamery butter you highly organized little bastards!)
This post is no exception.
Because! Years ago, I found myself intimately involved in the quest for Earth's Most Efficient Colon Rectal System. Why? Wolf 359, my girlfriend at the time (not her real name) noticed that despite my heavy veggie and water intake, I still lingered a wee bit too long in the loo, stealing precious time away from canoodling, coupled dog walking, cozy, in bed readings from P.G. Wodehouse (we took turns reading aloud to each other...awwwwwww) and neck biting.
"Barley juice is what you need" she said. Off to the organic store we biked, keeping ur carbon footprint low before it became fashionable (secretly, I dreamed of a 12 cylinder Lambo and towering refinery gas flares). A friendly birkenstocker who, as I recall was stocking shelves, pointed us towards an array of products. So many. There was Green Kamut and Green Magma and Simple Green and KyoGreen and Super Ultra Mega Your Ass Will Explode From The Flow Green.
These weren't specifically described as colon blowers but a more 'regular' digestive and elimination cycle was touted as a key benefit of each and every green juice.
I tried one; Green Kamut, I think.
Guess what Barbarella (yeah, that's my new name for ye shag): it worked! Such awesome elimination power. I felt I could battle Hercules in the morning and Thor in the afternoon and still have time to walk the dog.
Which is why these products are selling like flax seed enhanced pancakes: it's awesome to have the freedom to battle the gods! And, more accurately, a lot of Americans are feeling, er, gastrointestinally compromised and are looking for answers.
Answers!
.d.