Fiction is for the weak.
Fiction is for people whose spines are as mushy as an over-ripe banana, left out to melt into a slimy film, the delicacy of bacteria and industrious ants.
And classic fiction! I'm laughing with the hearty force of a god at the thought of important literature! Whenever someone mentions Chekov, I reach for my mojito!
No, there's only one thing you should read on your vacation; only one book you should take with you, tucking it into your knickers for protection the way you might a cute little glock or the control interface for a sat-guided mortar system.
I am of course referring to...
Read This Alone-And The War Can Be Won
<http://www.bookmice.net/darkchilde/japan/readthis.html>
Print this out; absorb its lessons. As you grill salmon, reflect on the bloated corpse of your enemies, rotting in the tropical sun. As you relax in the hot tub, imagine your bayonet thrusting into the barbarian's belly. As you watch "Up In The Air" on your deluxe entertainment system, pause the DVD or Netflix stream to raise your arms in the air and shout, Banzai!
Then join with me in re-taking Singapore -- and all of Asia -- for the 16 Petaled Chrysanthemum.
Only those who see themselves as already dead will find life!
Only those who see themselves as already on vacation will find work!
Or something!
.d.