[lbo-talk] Lenin on the toilet

Evergreen Readers and Writers editor at evergreenreaders.com
Sun Sep 25 18:12:04 PDT 2011


Jonathan Swift says:

That in some fields of his (Gulliver's master's) country, there are certain shining stones of several colors, whereof the Yahoos are violently font, and when part of these stones are fixed in earth...they will dig with their claws for whole days to get them out, and carry them away, and hide them in heaps in their kennels; but still looking round with great caution, for fear their comrades should find out their treasure.... he had once, by way of experiment, privately removed a heap of these stones from the place where one Yahoo had buried it: whereupon, the sordid animal, missing his treasure, by his loud laments brought the whole herd to the place, they miserably howled, then fell to biting and tearing the rest, began to pine away, would neither eat, nor sleep, nor work, till he his (Gulliver's master) ordered a servant privately to convey the stones into the same hole, and hide them as before; which when his Yahoo found, he presently recovered his spirits and good humour, but took care to remove them to a better hiding place, and hath ever since been a very serviceable brute.

My master further assured me, which I also observed myself, That in the fields where these shining stones abound, the fiercest and most frequent battles are fought, occasioned by perpetual inroads of neighbouring Yahoos.

He said, it was common, when two Yahoos discovered such a stone in a field, and were contending which of them should be the proprietor, a third would take advantage, and carry it away from them both; which my master would needs contend to have some resemblance with our suits at law; wherein I thought it for our credit not to undeceive him; since the decision he mentioned was much more equitable than many decrees among us: because the plaintiff and defendant there lost nothing beside the stone they contended for, whereas our courts of equity would never have dismissed the cause while either of them had anything left.

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