[lbo-talk] Internet accounts

Bill Bartlett billbartlett at aapt.net.au
Fri Mar 23 17:12:21 PDT 2012


Yes, the world is full of morons and just as paedophiles seem to gravitate to jobs involving contact with children, idiots seem attracted to jobs in internet banking security.

There is only one thing we can do about it, whinge amongst ourselves, because 'they' are impervious to complaints.

Well, almost. As far as their punitive penalty charges go, I find it is simply a matter of ringing your bank and demanding that the penalty charges be immediately refunded. Sometimes an actual letter is required, but usually they fold on a mere phone call. As a matter of strict policy, I always insist on referring to the offending penalty bank charges as "thefts" from my account and/or "bank robbery".

But internet passwords are a harder nut to crack. One bank I do business with recently changed their internet login requirement so that not only must their passwords be 8 character alpha-numeric, but also contain both upper and lower case characters, plus to top it all off must contain at least one special character such as * or #.

Obviously this is designed to ensure you cannot use any existing password combination you might have memorised, but must create an entirely new and unintelligible one you will either write down for the burglar's convenience, or instantly forget and never be able to access your funds.

Either way, the bank is covered. Any unauthorised access to your bank will in future be your fault, for failing to comply with their impossible policy requirement that you must memorise multiple gibberish passwords.

One bank repeatedly cancels my online banking login, for no other reason than that I have not logged in often enough. I must then endure at least half an hour in the telephone queue to get on to their call centre to fix it. By which time I am in the kind of mood which makes it unsafe to talk to me. (Forget water-boarding, the endless chatter you must endure in a call centre queue must qualify and the most inhuman torture imagined. How I yearn for a return to simple calming music.) It amazes me they continue to treat customers so badly, even the welfare office has a shorter call centre queue than them! And they give their customers money rather than the other way around. Obviously people are just willing to tolerate too much bullshit from banks.

Some banks are at least experimenting with alternative security systems. I have a couple of accounts which are protected by those password-generating thingamybobs. Of course those things have to be kept near the computer (or on your key-ring I guess, if you have one) so are a bit vulnerable to someone who might have access to your home. But they would make it hard for someone in Nigeria to withdraw funds from my account, should I be gullible enough to give them my details.

One bank I use has taken to using random codes sent to your mobile phone, that must be entered every time you transfer funds to a new destination account. A bit tricky for those of us who have yet to be convinced that a mobile phone has any possible use. But when I admitted to my lack of such a device, the bank admitted that they could send me one of their password generating whatyamecallits instead, for free. (I guess mobile phones are so common that it costs virtually nothing to provide a gadget to that bloke in Bracknell Tasmania who is the only person left on the planet not to own one.) So that worked out OK. Otherwise banks might charge a few dollars for that device.

In the end, you might just have to cancel your accounts with any bank which is becoming too out of touch with human reality. Or charging too many fees. These days my main account is with a bank which charges absolutely no fees whatever. They even refund the teller machine fees charged by other banks, provided I withdraw a minimum of $200 at a time. Yeah, they wanted customers so bad I even got paid a total of $60 to open and start using that account, but that offer has expired sorry. ;-)

It was reassuring to hear that it isn't just me that is put out by these indignities, thanks for that Woj. I hope my rant will make you feel better as well. ;-)

Bill Bartlett Bracknell Tas



More information about the lbo-talk mailing list