SI Swimsuit issue: Holy Cow!

W. Kiernan WKiernan at
Thu Mar 18 17:27:54 PST 1999

digloria at wrote:
> thank you jane!! wasn't it funny that there was very little talk of
> men's bodies getting painted and puddinged? and when there was, it
> was suggested that this would be difficult because men had that thang!
> that whosis! that just could be disguised. (say it buoys, really,
> say it! it's okay to just come out and say "cock" in fact, i *demand*
> it because every other word is just plain icck and childish)

No way, not in this context, when we're talking about that giggly pudeur promoted by mass market magazines. If we're talking about serious books that aren't pulling that news stand strip tease, like for example Hans Fahrmeyer's "Between Men and Women," we'd get to use real grown-up English (Latin?) words like "pudendum" or "penis," which would be easier on our sense of dignity for sure, but if we're talking Sports Illustrated, it fits better to use cutesy wordies like "nippies" and "whosises" ("whoses"?)

I'm guessing here, but I think Fahrmayer may be gay; for one thing, his previous book is titled "Between Men." At any rate, I noticed an odd thing. Where you see nude photos of mixed sexes, the male models are usually just so-so in appearance, while the female models are usually almost inhumanly beautiful, like models tend to be. But in Fahrmayer's book it's the other way around: the women, while far from unattractive, are not so outrageously gorgeous as female models usually are, they look like women you might see in the real world, whereas the males are mostly very, I hope I'm using this word right, "buff." That somewhat diminishes the attractiveness of the male nudes while it vastly improves the appeal of the female ones. I guess in Fahrmayer's case that notorious "male gaze," which distorts an artist's eyesight, may be staring in another direction.

> tho, bill seems to think it could be disguised 'properly,' so i'll
> give him credit. "it just ain't easy being a buoy. <sob> don't hate
> me cause i've got this thang! it's so ugly and stands at attention
> altogether too often"

1.) Is TOO easy being a buoy, I just float, I never exerted myself a bit, all I got to do is, act naturally. 2.) Is NOT ugly, I'm hurt - snif - you feel that way. It has a nice symmetrical functional look to it, particularly when it's awake. 3.) Hardly "altogether too often," instead, alas, not nearly often enough. This world is not paradise.

> lord, y'all sound like my students, specifically het buoys, who tell
> me that the reason why porn is about women is because women are clean
> and beautiful while men are dirty and not beautiful.

Innat sweet? Gosh, you must be flattered. Did you laugh out loud? That's a good one!

I remain, dirtily and unbeautifully,

Yours, WDK - WKiernan at

** Nothing can be done about the verb "to love". - Thurber **

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