looking for a laugh?

Ian Murray seamus2001 at home.com
Tue Jun 5 11:58:48 PDT 2001


I just found this while looking up something on the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists website;

http://www.1stbooks.com/ Author Spotlight - Thomas C. Fairley

Each of us, at one time or another, has felt cheated by the government. Many of us have perhaps even dreamt of enacting some sort of revenge on the government. Thomas C. Fairley has done just that in his book, Absolute Responsibility, Strict Accountability, published by 1stBooks Library in November 2000.

In this political thriller, wrought with dark humor, a dying woman angered by the sloth and corruption of Congress puts into motion a deadly plan that will forever change the way the government treats its citizens. By training ordinary citizens in the art of assassination, she creates an army that will be used, among other things, to take out the highest-ranking official of the IRS. And, boy, do they ever take her out.but at what price?

Absolute Responsibility, Strict Accountability is a bold approach to the problems that U.S. citizens face everyday at the hands of the government, and is sure to bring a big, fat devilish grin to the face of the reader.

Thomas C. Fairley retired in 1995, and soon after started a house cleaning business. Inundated by government red tape, he sold the business and went to work on Absolute Responsibility, Strict Accountability. Today, he researches real estate titles for his wife's law firm in North Carolina where they reside. He also spends time raising funds for the local sea turtle hospital.

Excerpt from Absolute Responsibility, Strict Accountability:

With that it seemed all the air was sucked out of the room. Each man collapsed further into his chair. No one spoke. The enormity of the killings, the monstrous evil unleashed on these public servants, rendered them momentarily motionless.

Finally, President Huber asked very quietly, "Who's responsible?" No one answered.

National Security Advisor Gene Cummings entered the office and walked straight to the president. "Mr. President, I've just learned that NRA Executive Director Boyd Fuller was shot to death 25 minutes ago."

"That makes seven," said the President. "Turn on the television. Let's see if the media has it yet." Cummings reached for the clicker, and CNN came on immediately.

Correspondent Priscilla Pickering began speaking at once. "We're about one block below the home of IRS Director Mildred Hartsfield, where FBI agents and local Sheriff deputies have her home and several adjoining homes cordoned off. Sources tell CNN that Director Hartsfield has been murdered. We are unable to get any closer because of the heavy security surrounding the area. I've never seen so many deputies in battle gear holding a perimeter in such a lovely residential neighborhood."

The picture changed back to the studio, and CNN announcer Horst Kaufmann said, "This just in: In addition to IRS Director Mildred Hartsfield, Speaker of the House Karl Stilski, and House Ways and Means Chairman Martin Koyn, three other members of Congress have also been brutally murdered. They are House Ethics Chairman Ron Claxton, Jennifer St. Claire of Foreign Relations, and Thornton Quigley, Environment Resources. Our reports indicate that all six victims were killed by exploding bullets to the head. We go live now to the White House, where CNN Senior Correspondent Travis Funk has this report. Travis, what have your heard?"

"Well, Horst, nothing seems available to the press corps just yet. White House Press Secretary Peter Hopkins has told sources close to CNN that he will have something for us in about 25 minutes. Until then, we know only that the reports you just read indicate five members of Congress, and the Director of the Internal Revenue Service, have all been murdered. No additional details have been released yet. Back to you, Horst."

"This story gets more and more incredible," reported Horst. "Boyd Fuller, Executive Director of the National Rifle Association, was added to the list while Travis filed that report. That makes seven prominent figures murdered this morning. Will that number grow? Stay tuned. We'll be right back."


>From the back seat of her limo, Deborah Saraf watched CNN and listened
to the news. Everyone had performed perfectly. Tomorrow, seven others would die. It was time for the first fax to go to CNN headquarters in Atlanta. Last evening she had one of the office 'cleaning crew' program the computer of Ann Campbell, secretary to Boyd Fuller, to send the fax. Additionally, her 'cleaner' planted several small exploding and burning devices that melted Ms. Campbell's entire system when it finished transmitting.

Into the car phone she spoke one word, "Now," then hung up.

The fax from Boyd Fuller's office was transmitted to CNN in Atlanta. It read: Question: What do you call today's seven assassinations? Answer: A good beginning.

Wasn't it Mark Twain who said that he'd made an extensive investigation of the American people and could find no native criminal class--"except Congress?" I believe he was right. In 1998 Congress passed a $550 billion spending bill. That was criminal. This year 2006, the spending bills have gotten so large that they no longer fit on a standard line of print.

Democrats blame Republicans; Republicans blame Democrats. Result: no one's responsible or accountable. Pretty neat.

An old adage from the pen of the great Irish thinker Edmund Burke is still true: Evil continues as long as good people do nothing. Until today, we were good people. We voted, paid our taxes, raised our families, belonged to churches and civic groups. What we did today makes us criminals. We have become the evil we opposed.

Congress knows how angry we commoners are. It just doesn't care. Nothing we tried before today much mattered. That's why we, a group of citizens, have taken this drastic action.

Neither the Executive Branch nor the Judiciary has anything to fear from us. We plan to rid the country of three problems: (1) present members of the House of Representatives who were not elected to a first term; (2) high officials in the IRS; and (3) officers and lobbyists for the NRA and the Managed Health Care industry. For the present, members of the U.S. Senate will not be executed, unlike the Romans, who assassinated their Senators. The Senate is small enough and smart enough to fix itself. If it does not, we'll deal with it next.

We're sorry it has come to this. But nothing from ordinary citizens gets through to Congress, or gets its attention. It has inured itself against protests, letter-writing campaigns, and e-mail assaults. Phone calls from constituents are turned into comedy as soon as the irate caller hangs up. Staff laughter following the call is deafening. After today, however, Congress needs to remember the story of Pharaoh and the 10 plagues.

No matter what Moses did, nothing got Pharaoh's attention. Moses turned rivers into blood and destroyed farms with grasshoppers, and Pharaoh did not respond to his simple demand. The same thing can be said of our Congress. Our streets have turned into rivers of blood, and Congress gets back into bed with the NRA and approves more legislation favorable to their agenda. No school shooting horror, no-drive by shooting war, no obscene number of callous murders by gun, has gotten Congress to pass significant gun legislation. We lose 500 family farms each month, and Congress passes more banking laws favoring foreclosure.

Available formats for this book: Electronic Book Size is 2500K $ 4.95 Paperback (5x8) $ 11.95 Hardback (6x9) $ 16.95

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