Enron suicide note disclosed

R rhisiart at earthlink.net
Thu Apr 11 19:43:58 PDT 2002


with all respect, carrol, i've been there, too. there's no way to describe the utter sense of hopelessness and futility; the inability to escape the feeling and one's tormented self.

i've also worked as a psychotherapist with depressed, et al, people. the note has a kind of intrinsic logic. yet, without knowing the man, i'd be unable to definitively say he was depressed. and from his actions, and the reports of his friends and relatives, up to the time of his death, i'd be hard put to find this note anything more than an artful forgery at best.

also, not as many depressives as people might think leave notes.

R

----- Original Message -----

From: Carrol Cox

To: lbo-talk at lists.panix.com

Sent: Thursday, April 11, 2002 5:02 PM

Subject: Re: Enron suicide note disclosed

Carl Remick wrote:

>

> Here it is, Enron ex-vice-chairman J. Clifford Baxter suicide note,

> addressed to his wife:

>

> "I am so sorry for this. I feel I just can't go on. I have always tried to

> do the right thing, but where there was once great pride, now it's gone. I

> love you and the children so much. I just can't be any good to you or

> myself. The pain is overwhelming. Please try to forgive me. Cliff."

>

An overwhelming number of suicides, whatever their immediate occasion,

have clinical depression as their general context. And what all

sufferers from depression will tell you is that we can't describe the

pain. It is a pain that will not be ignored. Doesn't help much, does it?

It's the best I've ever been able to do when describing depression to

those who have never experience it. And extreme depression also feels as

though someone had poured Karo syrup over your brain. You lose your

powers of articulation. Can you imgagine me being inarticulate? I have

been. Utterly incapable of making even a mildly complicated point. I

couldn't have written a less "fake" note on such an occasion. And fear

of bringing pain to relatives, friends, etc. is one of _the_ major

barriers to suicide. Of course he would ask for forgiveness, knowing it

would not be given.

That note rings wholly true to me.

Carrol

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