"So what is it that Stanford and Columbia undergraduates and their families are _really_ paying for?" ----
Well, what else but the social connections? I went to UCLA and UC Berkeley. The students at Berkeley did not seem smarter than the students at UCLA, but they did seem less provincial.
I have a few friends who taught at Stanford (English/Philosphy) and the only thing I found out from them is that a "B" is the lowest grade given at Stanford. The other profs I met from Stanford were decidedly unimpressive. Also hung out with some folks at Harvard (epidemiology (sp?)) and they just struck me as academic professionals on steroids. Bah ...Humbug!
So, I could have been the kind of mother who pushed her kids into the Ivy leagues...but I decided, "fuck it!" I basically think an education is more important than a pedigree and I don't have $300,000 to spare (2 kids). It's just too bad there are no public universities for women only -- my daughter is next.
The truth of the matter is that academia has been such a buyer's market for the last thirty years, that your kid is probably getting a really good teacher not matter what the school. If he's at a state college, that teacher is overworked. If he's at an Ivy league, he's being taught by a graduate student or possibly by a professor who tinks that teaching is way beneath him. Either way...
Joanna