From: "Joel Wendland"
As a person with two small kids, I'd say it isn't necessary always to simply tell kids what to do and expect obedience (even very short ones). And I do think that authoritarianism in parent-child relationships is pervasive.Teaching children violence and shouting as legitimate expressions of anger is pervasive. It is true that kids need people (including their parents) to watchout for them, but I don't think we need to go over board and justify authoritarian parent-child relationships.
^^^^ CB: I posted the original ditty to pose what seems to me a real dilemma faced by many parents ( and children), maybe especially by single, working class mothers with boys. I don't think the Mom character in what I posted is accurately described as "authoritarian" ( there was no shouting or violence implied), but of course there are true child abusers in the world, for whom the stricter laws of recent years are appropriate. However, I had a client convicted under a child abuse statute for giving his daughter what in the old days was called a whippin', and the charge itself triggered a series of other laws by which both that child and her brother could have been removed from the mother and the father's custody ( the mother wasn't even present at the time of the incident). Clearly ( to me ) this was not in the best interest of the children. Like it was good for them to go into the foster care lottery, right ?
I have a 14 year old too.
I know I am discussing anecdotes, but I would think that the dilemma I am describing has impact on a sizable number of parents and children today. Children need some discipline, and not all parental discipline amounts to "authoritarianism". One worries that a naughty child might face his first serious discipline from the _real_ authorities, if he won't obey his parents.
There is also an issue that it is not good for a child, him or herself, to abuse or disrespect her parents.
Anyway, childrearing struggles are part of the project of making people who will change the world and make the rev; and the personal is political.