I knew I was going to get into trouble.
The answer to your question is simpler than you propose. The thing I find sexy is women. I'm not a brute. The more a woman wants/loves me, the better - that goes without saying. What we're talking about is my body and I don't, primarily, see my body as something that is desired; I see it as something that produces desire.
As a heterosexual man, I don't really understand the desiring of a male body. I try to understand it, but only in the context that it helps me make a woman happy. It's not that a woman's desiring me isn't stimulating, it's just that my experience of sexuality (and, I dare say, the majority of my sex) has been desiring a large number of women, the majority of whom I have no relationship with at all. It doesn't mean that the equitable exchange of desire is not the ideal. It's just that desire for women is a constant fact of male heterosexuality and I don't think men and women have at all equitable fantasy lives. Therefore, I don't think men expect women to think about us the way we think about them. I think sexual desire in men is literally a different physical experience than it is in women, at least outside of sex itself.
peace
boddi
On 11/16/05, joanna <123hop at comcast.net> wrote:
>
>
>
> boddi satva wrote:
>
> > On the other hand, women have to deal with the objectification male
> > sexuality produces. I think the experience of being desired is just
> > not what we think about. Therefore, we don't objectify our bodies in
> > the same way that women do because we ourselves are not objectified
> > (and if we are, we don't really care). So, indeed, "loving" our
> > genitalia makes no more sense than loving our fingers or toes.
> > Obviously, feeling desired is intensely erotic (and to be hoped for).
> > I just think that it's not a big part of sexuality for most men.
>
> That's fascinating. So, what is it you find sexier?
>
> 1. The fact that a woman wants you as much as you want her.
> 2. The fact that a woman doesn't want you....and must be conquered.
> 3. The fact that a woman doesn't want you as much as you want her...and
> must be seduced.
> 4. Makes no difference; it doesn't matter what she feels.
>
> Joanna
>
>
> ___________________________________
> http://mailman.lbo-talk.org/mailman/listinfo/lbo-talk
>
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