Brian is gay.
Most men are straight.
I think I've described these elements of male heterosexuality in an uncontroversial way - at least among heterosexual men. If there are heterosexual men who see themselves as objects of desire more than they desire women, they are not in the majority.
If women want them to be, they better be a little more generous with the compliments.
Again, I think there's a reason for this, and it's the different experience of sexuality men and women have from adolescence. Obviously adults can modify their views rationally, but you have to recognize where views come from.
peace
boddi
On 11/16/05, Miles Jackson <cqmv at pdx.edu> wrote:
>
>
>
> On Wed, 16 Nov 2005, BklynMagus wrote:
>
> > Dear List:
> >
> > boddi satva writes:
> >
> >> Obviously, feeling desired is intensely erotic (and to
> > be hoped for). I just think that it's not a big part of
> > sexuality for most men.
> >
> > You must have had sex with a whole 'nother set of men
> > than I did.
> >
>
> Indeed. This thread itself is a good example of the social
> construction of gender! "Women's sexuality = feeling desired"
> and "men's sexuality = desiring agent" is a binary that rings
> true to many because--we "engender" that dichotomy in our talk and
> everyday behavior and ignore experiences like Brian's that
> challenge the dominant discourse. I'm with Kel on this: the
> abolition of gender as a product of social relations and the
> abolition of the capitalist as a product of social relations
> are strikingly analogous political goals.
>
> Miles
> ___________________________________
> http://mailman.lbo-talk.org/mailman/listinfo/lbo-talk
>
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